Motivation Myths

By Tao De Haas

Myth 1: Motivation is something you've got or you haven't

Fact: Motivation levels are different in different people. Some people seem to be highly motivated most of the time. But before you think you are one of those people with low motivation think again. Generally we are motivated by things that matter to us, by the things we value, that are meaningful and purposeful to us. Those people who are highly motivated often have a very compelling reason to be motivated; the more compelling the reason the higher the motivation. For most people it is a matter of finding out what it is that compels them and motivation will follow.

Myth 2: You need to be positive in order to be motivated

Fact: While perhaps not obvious on the surface, you might be surprised to learn that fear is often a motivator. Most people would have heard of the carrot or stick principle; move towards the carrot and away from the stick. Some people are motivated by the reward, the gain, while others might be more motivated by fear, discomfort, potential loss or pain. Gain and pain are both strong motivating factors. In many cases it is not one or the other but a combination of both.

If you really fear something for example, say that you might lose everything you have worked for then you might be extra motivated to work hard to succeed. The fear of illness or being obese will often motivate people to stay fit and healthy. If you don't pay your mortgage you might lose your house, if you don't pay your taxes you might be in trouble with the law etc. etc. This secondary or 'negative' motivation motivates more people than you think. It is preferable to be motivated by real desire rather than by fear, but remember that you will not only be motivated for positive reasons. You might desire to be very successful as you fear insignificance or not living a purposeful life. It's important to be aware of what fuels your motivation and if that is what you really want. 

Myth 3: You have to be motivated before you start anything

Fact: This is why so many people never achieve their goals! It is like waiting for the motivation bus...it isn't coming and it never will. Don't wait! You need to get up, start moving and get going. True, sometimes the first steps might be the hardest to take. Remember that motivation means 'movement' and movement is something you can activate by creating momentum. Have you ever seen someone pulling a truck or jumbo jet on their own? Once the truck or plane starts rolling momentum is created and less effort is required. Once movement is activated, it is easier to keep it going than to make it move in the first place. In other words 'Just Do It'!

Myth 4: You think you can be motivated without a clear and specific goal

Fact: When you want to travel to a destination, first you need to know where you want to go. Like the saying in Alice in Wonderland "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there". Imagine going to a train station and asking for a ticket, the first question asked will be 'Where to?' First you need to know where you want to go and you need a reason for wanting to go there. You need to feel the excitement of reaching your destination. The feeling of arriving at your destination needs to be more powerful than the feeling of staying where you are.

The more compelling the reason, the more it aligns with what is important to you, the more you will be 'pulled' towards it. You need to imagine and have a vivid picture in your mind (as well of external representations such as a vision board) of what this destination looks like. If you have no idea what your goal or your destination looks like and how you will feel when you get there, then why would you want to go there in the first place? You generally can't be motivated for motivation sake. You need a compelling reason and a clear purpose; somewhere to direct your attention and focus your energy.

Myth 5: You should be motivated all the time

Fact: While this might be true for some people, for most of us there are times when motivation wanes. There might be some obstacles along the way, challenges or difficulties that appear to stand in the way of reaching your destination. While some people become more determined, others might get disheartened. It is unrealistic to expect there won't be times when you might want to give up and go 'back home' to what is familiar. Remember that after the initial period there is often a time when the desire and excitement diminishes. During these times it is especially important to keep the momentum going; keep that plane or truck rolling! The key is to keep the momentum going even though part of the journey might be uphill at certain times. Remember to always keep the end in mind clearly and firmly.

Myth 6: Motivation is the same as using will power

Fact: When the going gets tough there may be times when you need to put your shoulder to the grindstone. But if your journey is only driven by will power, you are likely to tire and it's unlikely that you will succeed. If you are clear about why you want to reach your destination, together with a real desire to get there, you will use your inspiration rather than relying on will power alone. Strong desire and emotionally connecting to the excitement of reaching your destination is far more powerful than using sheer will power. Without engaging your emotions and feelings (the subconscious and the limbic part of your brain), you have to work much harder. Inspiration is more powerful than perspiration.

Myth 7: When you are motivated it gets easier and easier

Fact: "The old Gods will always come and challenge you at the border of the country that you are leaving". You want to change something and move away from a current situation, in order to achieve a goal. For most people there comes a stage which is called the point of greatest resistance. It is often when you least expect it. All of a sudden something pulls you back and stops you from moving forward. This is often just before you are about to succeed. Why? Just like being tied to an elastic band, the further you move away the stronger the pullback. The point of greatest resistance occurs just before the elastic band breaks and you hurdle forward.

In psychology this is called a 'pay off' or a 'hidden benefit'. At some point the 'pay' off, the 'benefit' of not 'travelling' any further motivates you more than the destination. Well engrained habits have a lot of pullback power. That part of you that is attached to the old habits will pull you back (especially after 3-4 weeks and then again at a later stage) as it does not want to lose those 'benefits'. When you want to move to a new way; a new world or a new country so to speak, the old habits will often try to call you back. This is one of the most important aspects to understand in the motivation process, yet it is often not addressed in popular motivation information. Why would that part of you that just wants to 'stay home' and blob in front of the TV get excited and co-operate with another part of you that wants to actively pursue your goals? You need to negotiate with these various and often conflicting aspects within yourself so they come on board. Once you understand and effectively address the pullback factor, you are far more likely to succeed.

Myth 8: People believe they are lazy

Fact: Believe it or not you are always motivated. Is a teenager lazy for not wanting to tidy up his or her room? NO! Their motivation just lies elsewhere. They might be motivated to go out with their friends, play video games or sleep. They value these things much more than tidying up their room. There is always motivation, although sometimes the motivation 'movement' might not necessarily go in a direction that is constructive or useful. So next time you think you are 'lazy' replace that thought with, I am not motivated. Labelling yourself or others as 'lazy' is very unhelpful. Labelling someone or something means that it is a fait accompli (an irreversible fact). There is nothing much that you can do about it. Exploring what does and what does not motivate you is the key to addressing motivation.

Myth 9: You've got to try harder

Fact: A real indication of lack of motivation is when we use the word 'try'. 'I will try' means I am not really committed but I feel I 'should' be. Rather than choosing to do something because we really want to, we give it a try. Have you ever met someone that has been trying to give up smoking? Answer one question: Do they or don't they smoke? The answer is they are still smoking. If they weren't they would not be trying to give it up, they would have done it. How well do you think it works when you feel you 'should' give up smoking, 'should' lose weight, 'should' drink less or 'should' exercise more, when you don't really want to?

The problem is with the implication of the word trying. Trying means it is not happening because there is not a firm decision or commitment made. I know people that have made a very clear, firm and conscious decision to smoke, despite knowing the dangers. While it is not a choice that I would make, I respect their decision. Why? They stopped the struggle.

Make up your mind, consider the cost-benefits and make a decision. The space between doing and not doing is called ambivalence. Continuously dancing 'the ambivalence dance' is very tiring, disempowering and ultimately does not get you anywhere. Stop trying; just do it or don't! Ultimately it is that easy.

Myth 10: All you need is a destination, motivation and inspiration

Fact: You need to keep on track to reach your destination, but if you haven't got a map, then what track are you on? Without a strategy it is far too easy to stray from your intended destination, your intended goal. If you haven't got a good map or navigation system you might find that all of a sudden you have come back to the place you started from. You can have all the motivation in the world, but if you leave home without knowing where you are going or how far you have travelled, you're going to feel lost and discouraged and more than likely, you will give up.

Having a system that keeps you focused and on the right track is extremely important, especially during times when your motivation is low. Having a clear vision of your destination, knowing where you're at and keeping track of your travels and progress is one of the most essential aspects as it encourages you and leads you to act. This is such an important and fundamental element of achieving what you want to achieve, yet it's probably one of the most neglected. There is so much information about motivation yet often the most important aspects are absent. Many people, books and products can inspire you and get you on your way, but that is the easy part. After that you are left to your own devices and this is why most people don't stay the course or reach their intended destination.

Determining where you want to go and understanding the all-important why factor as well as having access to practical tools, resources and support to help get you there (from start to finish) is what people really need to succeed. With this in mind, using a specifically tailored system to help you stay on track is the most beneficial tool one can use.

Numerous studies have shown that people who set goals consistently achieve more in life than those who do not. Yet there is so much more to goal setting than most people think. Not only do people need to be clear about what they want, they need to create an environment for success and achievement; an environment that guides and supports them, keeps them focused and on the right track.

Just think about New Year resolutions. Despite having the best intentions, most people don't make it past the 7th day of January! At Minds with Integrity we have developed a unique and personalized system that will help you move from hoping and wishful thinking to living your life according to what is really important to you. Experience immediate and tangible outcomes with a system that gets results.

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