Showing posts with label Behaviour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Behaviour. Show all posts

Friday, 27 October 2017

Why You Are The Way You Are



THE 6 FACTORS THAT ARE BEHIND EVERY EMOTION AND BEHAVIOR

Why do people overeat, or overspend?
Why do people resort to conflict, or violence?
Why do people take drugs, or even take their own life?
Why do people crave attention, or yearn for love?
Whatever people do, they have a reason. They may not know what that reason is – at least not consciously. In fact, quite often people act and behave in ways that may seem irrational and inexplicable. And there are a million stories of why people do what they do. But all these stories revolve around just six primary driving forces, which Tony calls the 6 Human Needs. (Listen to the podcast episode on this topic.)
The 6 Human Needs are fundamental to every single person. No matter what country you are from, what your socioeconomic status is, no matter your race, your religion, your color, your creed; no matter what your goals, desires, values, morals or dreams are – we all share these same needs. And if you want to understand yourself on a deeper, more meaningful level, then you must begin with understanding these needs. Because once you do, you will understand why you act and react in certain ways. And that awareness is a key step to making a pivotal shift in your life so that you can overcome obstacles and embrace opportunities to ultimately find absolute fulfillment.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Consistently Produce Your Desired Results

By 

What is the difference between effectiveness and efficiency? There are a variety of subtle differences as well as some basic ideas to consider. The definition of effective reads "producing a decided, decisive, or desired effect." The word efficient is defined as "productive of desired effects and productive without waste." The term efficiency is usually associated with machinery or science. When an inanimate object is performing its function as directed, it is often said to be efficient. This is why many definitions include the term "without waste." Efficiency can also be used when describing people, that is, people who are performing their jobs efficiently-as directed and without the need for maintenance. The quality of being effective usually involves more human terms, as in reaching someone's mind and heart through a process of reason and conversation. Nevertheless, in business the two terms tend to be used interchangeably.
Effectiveness vs. Efficiency
Some experts have commented that a directive of efficiency tends to dehumanize many factors and often favors quick decisions over careful analysis. The efficient person may move rapidly, checking off things to do in a hurried fashion. After all, the motivation is to perform the job quickly and with minimal waste. This attitude, however, may not give the proper attention to details. This is not to say that someone that is efficient is doing anything wrong. In fact, there are many benefits to being an efficient thinker. Efficient thinkers are organized. They operate quickly and don't have time for procrastination or laziness. They work well with tools and communicate clearly in voice and writing. They are on time and respect the company's resources. In other words, efficient thinkers work well according to established systems. They learn the system and they adhere to the operation some might think. They take a robotic approach towards many situations, which is appreciated for certain tasks. 

An effective thinker still wants the results, but focuses on getting results in the realm of their responsibilities. Effectiveness has more to do with teaching, with life experience and with specialized expertise in a chosen field. These advantages help to bring about effective results. There is more of a personal touch when one strives to be effective. Clients and employees want the personal touch and want assurances that their money and their efforts are not all in vain. Very often these people need guidance, the specialty of an effective thinker. People skills come more naturally for an effective thinker than an efficient thinker. The efficient thinker is more concerned with the overall process, while the effective thinker empathizes with every person involved. In order to teach others effectively, you have to reach out to them and deliver that "human factor" that efficient systems don't provide.
Cultivating Both Qualities in Business
You could strive to be an effective worker, even while you are supported by efficiency. You have to combine both perspectives, first of working with individual people, and second, working with a united front. If you sense that you alienate others or lack people skills then you need to decrease the efficient side of your brain and focus more on effectively communicating with others. If you sense that you have good communicative skills but are often so disorganized that it starts to affect your performance, then you might need to work on time management, the specialty of the efficient thinker. Try to plan out your schedule by calendaring and time blocking, and write an agenda for all of your important events. An agenda can help you to stay on topic and not waste too much time going in different directions. Others can learn from this good example.
If you are unsure on whether you need work in effective or efficient thinking, then it may help to ask others to provide feedback of your performance. This can be done by asking a professional acquaintance or even by asking clients to fill out satisfaction surveys. Some people are willing to give an opinion, especially if they have just paid for your services or if they care about you and helping you advance in your life. Remember to keep regularly taking these surveys so you can compare your present operation to your recent past and monitor your progress. There are free internet survey tools you can utilize to receive valuable feedback.
A proper balance of effectiveness and efficiency will be required in practically every avenue of life, from the work office, to the customer service desk to even the family unit. You want to effectively communicate and deliver a result, but you want to organize your activities so that you make the most of your time. Being effective and efficient allows you to be even more productive so you can get more done in less time and enjoy more time to do what you really want to do in your life.
Take advantage of a Free 27-page Special Report, Keys to Working Less, Making More Money, and Having a More Balanced Life, and 9 other Free resource tools at http://www.AccountabilityCoach.com Obtain your copy of the Excuses Don't Count; Results Rule 109-page book, and get results in just 30-days with the powerful 30-day self-study course. The Results Rule 220-page 34-lesson coursebook a long with a myriad of other proven resources are available to you so you can be even more successful - personally and professionally.
Review and utilize the success-oriented resources and tools and subscribe to http://www.AccountabilityCoachBlog.com so you can receive consistent feedback on how to stay focused and productive and achieve your goals so you can be even more successful and have a truly balanced life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Anne_Bachrach/150418

Thursday, 31 August 2017

Optimize Effective and Efficient Behavior For Increased Success

By 

Ask any successful business owner or entrepreneur and they will tell you one of the number one rules to optimizing the success of a business starts with producing effective results with the greatest efficiency. This may not seem like a concern if you don't own your own business, but even as an employee, or home maker, your success is riding on your ability to perform with the greatest effectiveness and efficiency.
Whether you are an employee or business owner, it is your goal to be as effective as you can with the greatest efficiency. If you are an employee, the more effective and efficient you are, the greater asset you present to your employer. As a business owner, the more you can optimize these two factors, the greater return on investment you will realize in your business.
So how do you improve your career or business by improving effectiveness and efficiency? Let's begin by reviewing the difference between the two terms:
Effective - Producing a decided, decisive or desired effect. Effective emphasizes the actual production of or the power to produce an effect or result.
Efficient - Acting or a potential for action or use in such a way as to avoid loss or waste of energy in effecting, producing or functioning.
Effectiveness is the building block, while efficiency is the process of refinement. The better you become at effecting positive results with the greatest efficiency of effort, the bigger asset you become - and so does your business.
Optimizing effectiveness and efficiency doesn't have any relation to IQ or intelligence levels, it's really an awareness of your habits. It's a delicate balance between effecting positive results with the least amount of energy expenditure. This essentially means that you expend the least amount of energy with the largest return - while effectively creating the desired result.
Optimizing your effectiveness and efficiency is vital to your success. Your personal life depends on it and so does your professional life.
Let's start by discussing improving effectiveness. What does this actually mean? In the most basic terms, you must first learn how to create positive effects, change or results; though by definition you could be effective at producing negative effects. However, our focus is on becoming proficient at producing positive effects. The better you become at effectively creating desired results, the better your personal and professional life becomes.
So how do you know if you are being effective? The first step is to ask yourself what kind of actions you are taking. If the goal is to produce a desired result, every step between the initial action and completed action needs to be in support of the desired result. 

Recall a situation or project that produced a less than optimal result. If you go back through the series of actions that led to the result, can you pinpoint what might have triggered the shift from the direction of positive results to non-effective results? When the "trigger" can be identified, you can learn from that experience and be more effective in future situations by changing or avoiding the action that created the negative result. Being effective is nothing more than a series of evaluations of past results to identify and separate the successful actions from the negative actions.
This evaluation process not only applies to your professional life, it applies to your personal life as well. Your career or your business is only as good as you are - which is why self-improvement is a vital part of your professional success. If you cannot learn to effect positive results, the success of your business will be limited. For optimal success, a dedication to improving effectiveness in your personal life is important.
Don't ever think your career or business doesn't have anything to do with you personally. Remember, the effects that are created in your professional life are a direct reflection of you. Every situation, whether professional or personal, deserves adequate evaluation for your improved success.
Now let's discuss efficiency. Effectiveness is the building block and efficiency is the process of refinement. Think of it as a sort of horse and carriage. Improving efficiency isn't possible until you actually learn how to effect results. While it is possible to be effective without being efficient, only having one of the two strengths is like missing the other piece to the puzzle. To truly be a force to be reckoned with and to grow your business, you must be able to effect positive results with the greatest efficiency.
We all have the same number of hours in a day to complete our tasks, so you must learn to produce desired results with the least amount of energy lost. This is probably one of the most common concerns many people have. They wonder how they can do more under time constraints. Ask yourself, how are you spending your time? In order to make more time and become better at what we do, we must learn to improve our effectiveness and efficiency.
Although most people resist it, calendaring is a great tool for improving effectiveness and efficiency. When you put everything in your calendar and honor it, you'll find your focus improves because you have daily tasks staring right back at you in black and white. Schedule everything in your calendar including showers, drive time, calls, marketing time, client interviews, lunch, and workouts. For every task add a 15-30 minute buffer. This buffer will serve to add to peace of mind if unexpected delays come up. If you are actually running ahead of schedule, then you can get a head start on the next task and actually complete more in less time.
Improving effectiveness and efficiency may require improving organizational skills, maintaining a greater focus, task delegation, getting eight hours of sleep every night, or any other number of factors. Although adjustments vary from person to person, the factors remain constant and compile a set of success principles. Begin working on increasing your effectiveness and efficiency today and enjoy the benefits you receive as a result. You'll find that you will accomplish more in less time and feel great about your progress every day.
Take advantage of a Free 27-page Special Report, Keys to Working Less, Making More Money, and Having a More Balanced Life, and 9 other Free resource tools at http://www.AccountabilityCoach.com Obtain your copy of the 'Excuses Don't Count; Results Rule' book, and get results in just 30-days with the powerful 30-day self-study course. A myriad of other proven resources are available to you so you can be even more successful - personally and professionally.
Review and utilize the success-oriented resources and tools and subscribe to http://www.AccountabilityCoachBlog.com so you can receive consistent feedback on how to stay focused and productive and achieve your goals so you can be even more successful and have a truly balanced life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Anne_Bachrach/150418

Saturday, 29 July 2017

What You Need to Know About Leadership

By 

Executive Summary
Since the inception of business, organizations have searched for clues to help identify and select successful leaders. They have searched for men and women of vision with that rare combination of traits that help them serve as motivator, business driver, and authority figure. The concept of leadership has been widely observed and frequently studied, but a thorough understanding of what defines successful leadership has always remained just out of reach.
I wanted to find the answer(s) to the age-old question, "What makes a great leader?" After studying the behavioral attributes of thousands of business leaders, the resulting data could reveal commonalities that define strong leadership. What similar patterns or behaviors might possibly be found over and over again? By forming a concise "leadership recipe," the never-ending search for quality leaders could finally be simplified to a standardized set of characteristics that might help predict successful leadership in any organization. But could science and behavioral psychology be successfully applied to extract these leadership "revelations" from the data?
I centered my investigation on 30 behavioral leadership models that were used across 24 unique companies encompassing 4,512 business leaders from all performance levels. These companies included several from the Fortune 500 list. Each of the 30 leadership models was analyzed to identify the most common behaviors that differentiate higher-performing leaders from low-performing leaders. The findings compiled from this data set revealed new evidence that must serve as a foundational piece of every leadership hiring or training endeavor.
Expectations of the Study
Leadership is a concept that is difficult to capture. You know it when you see it, but it is difficult to quantify. The components of leadership are often examined and observed, but the ability to predict successful leadership has thus far avoided the confines of a repeatable recipe. Many approaches have been used in an attempt to document commonalities among successful leaders, but only with mixed results at best. Taking a new approach to the issue, I set out to study the behavioral characteristics of successful leaders in comparison to leaders of lower performance levels. The two main objectives of this study were:
  • To identify the three most important behaviors that are predictive of leadership performance.
  • To identify the level or degree of the three most common behaviors that are predictive of leadership performance.
Behavioral Leadership Models
Before discussing the study findings, it is important to lay the groundwork of this study using the behavioral leadership model. The behavioral leadership model is the cornerstone to this research study since it is designed to capture the behavioral preferences of successful leaders currently working in the position. Essentially, the behavioral leadership model captures the unique combination of behaviors that predicts success. Each unique model was created using the same methodology, but the customization was made possible by using performance data related to a specific position. To create a behavioral leadership model, each organization used the following three-step process.
Define Success-Traditionally, leadership success is determined by education, experience, potential, or other non-performance related measures. For this study, success was determined by actual performance on the job. We want to better understand the behaviors of the real leaders who produce results on a daily basis.
To keep the study focused on leadership productivity, each company defined success based on their business practices, and their leaders were evaluated on their ability to produce the desired business results. Those who did not produce the desired outcomes were considered ineffective leaders while others who produced the desired results were considered successful leaders. Each organization utilized specific performance data captured from those leaders actively engaged in the leadership role. The types of performance data collected ranged from subjective data (i.e., performance evaluations, soft achievement ratings, etc.) to objective data (i.e., store sales, percent to plan, profit metrics, etc.).
Use a Behavioral Assessment-The objective in this step is to capture the behavioral preferences of each leader (across all levels of success). The leaders in each organization were assessed using a behavioral assessment tool that measured 38 core behaviors. The 38 behaviors provided insight into the deeper motivations and preferences of each leader.
Build a Leadership Model-To create the leadership model, the behavioral assessment data was combined with the performance data for each leadership role. The result was a behavioral depiction of successful leadership across 38 behaviors. The leadership model determined how important each dimension was when compared to all 38 behaviors. Understanding the importance provides insight into the comparative ability of each behavior in predicting leadership performance. Equally as important is the degree in which the dimension needs to exist (ex: "high" Attention to Detail, "medium" Assertiveness, or "low" Insight into Others). The degree of a behavior will greatly affect leadership in terms of productivity, communication, and many other leadership activities.
Each leadership model was constructed in the same manner. The specific combination of dimensions (both importance and degree) was a reflection of current performance data from active leaders in the role. The models were customized to capture the true essence of leadership as it exists on the job and as it relates specifically to daily performance or contribution to the organization.
Behavioral Leadership Study
For this study, leadership roles were analyzed across 30 leadership models using the behavioral and performance data of 4,512 business leaders. For each role, a unique leadership model was created to assemble the strongest predictors of leadership according to behavioral preferences as they relate to actual quantified performance on the job. The process included comparing each of the 30 leadership models in a search for common behaviors predictive of leadership success (also considering the importance and degree). The study was based on the following parameters:
  • There were (n = 24) companies represented, some with multi-billion-dollar annual revenues, across (n = 10) industries: Medical, Grocery, Retail, Financial, Restaurant, Hotel, Food Service, Property Management, Industrial, and Customer Service.
  • Successful leadership was defined as a consistent and quantified achievement of current business objectives as designated by the organization. For example, in situations where the organization defined leadership success as achieving a higher "percent to plan," good performance was reflected through a consistent and strong production of high "percent to plan" numbers.
  • The average tenure for the (n = 4,512) leaders with varying performance levels was 2,242 days (over six years).
  • For descriptive purposes, leadership roles were banded according to range of responsibility. For this study sample, Level 1 leaders, or 36.67%, are responsible for a small direct group of employees. Level 2, or 56.67% of the sample, are responsible for a location, site, store, or entire office. Level 3, or 6.67%, were responsible for a region, multiple sites, multiple stores, multiple locations, or multiple offices.
Leadership Study Findings
Importance-Most Frequently Occurring Behaviors
Over the course of the study, each of the 30 leadership models was analyzed and the top ten "most predictive" behaviors were recorded and compared. The objective was to use the top ten behaviors across the 30 models as the method to capture the most predictive behaviors.
The next step was to identify the three most common behaviors (out of the top ten) across the 30 leadership models. The focus was limited to the top three most common behaviors to provide a more concise view of successful leadership. By identifying the three most frequently occurring behaviors, insights would be gained into the three most important behaviors that predict leadership success across a wide variety of leadership roles in a wide variety of industries. The data showed some surprising results: 
  • Interestingly, all 38 behavioral dimensions were represented somewhere within the lists of top ten behaviors across the 30 leadership models.
  • Least Important Behaviors-There were two behaviors that were consistently the lowest in importance. Reflective (deep thinking and/or the ability to anticipate long-term outcomes) and Team Orientation (desire to work with groups) had the lowest frequency, occurring in just 10.00% of the models.
  • Most Important Behavior-Across all 30 of the leadership models, Energy appeared in the top ten more than any other behavior (14 out of 30, or 46.67%) among all the leadership models. The mere presence of Energy in the behavioral model did not indicate the degree most suitable for the position, only that it played an important role in the overall behavioral equation for successful leadership.
  • Second-Most Important Behavior-The dimension of Competitive Fierceness appeared in 13 out of 30, or 43.33%, of the top ten lists of the leadership models studied. Some successful leaders may be more competitive while others prefer a supportive environment. As with Energy, Competitive Fierceness was found to be a primary part of many behavioral models in varying degrees.
  • Third-Most Important Behavior-Acceptance of Authority appeared in 12 out of 30, or 40.00%, of the top ten lists of the leadership models studied. Whether these 12 behavioral models required a high, medium, or low degree of this dimension required further study (see the following section).
There were 38 behavioral characteristics studied across the 30 leadership models. The objective was to find the most predictive or most frequently occurring behaviors that drive successful leadership. The research data revealed that Energy, Competitive Fierceness, and Acceptance of Authority appeared in the top ten lists most frequently. The most predictive or most frequently occurring behaviors provide the avenue to further explore the degree or amount of each behavior needed to predict leadership success for each of these three behaviors.
Challenging Leadership Assumptions
Based on the three most important or predictive leadership behaviors (Energy, Competitive Fierceness, and Acceptance of Authority), assumptions can be formed based on common (natural) perceptions of successful leadership. It is a common practice to assume that successful leaders exhibit a strong relation to, or very high degree of, a particular behavior. For the purpose of this study, I examined the varying degrees required to be successful across each of these three important behaviors.
Assumption #1 - Leaders must be "high energy" to be successful.
Energy was considered the most predictive (or most frequently occurring) behavior in 14 of 30, or 46.67%, of the leadership models.
• 21% of the models required below average Energy levels
• 37% of the models required average Energy levels
• 21% of the models required an above average Energy level
• 21% of the models required high Energy levels
• 0% of the models required an extremely high level of Energy
Although the majority of the leadership models required an above average amount of Energy, there were no models that required extraordinary levels of Energy.
Assumption #2 - Successful leaders must be highly competitive to be successful.
Competitive Fierceness was a top ten behavior in 13 of 30, or 43.33%, of the leadership models studied.
• 23% of the models required a more Supportive approach
• 39% of the models required a balance between being supportive and competitive
• 38% of the models required a more competitive approach
• 0% of the models required a high level of Competitive Fierceness
• 0% of the models required an extremely high level of Competitive Fierceness
The majority of the leadership models required an average to slightly above average level of Competitive Fierceness. None of the leadership models required a high or extremely high level of Competitive Fierceness.
Assumption #3 - Successful leaders need a more rebellious nature to be a high performer.
According to the data studied, Acceptance of Authority was considered one of the most predictive behaviors in 12 of 30, or 40.00%, of the leadership models.
• 42% of the models required a more rebellious approach
• 41% of the models required a balance between accepting authority and being rebellious
• 17% of the models required a more Acceptance of Authority approach
• 0% of the models required a high level of Acceptance of Authority
• 0% of the models required an extremely high level of Acceptance of Authority
According to the data studied, 84% of the leadership models required a below average or average level of Acceptance of Authority. None of the leadership models required a high or extremely high level of Acceptance of Authority.
Conclusions Drawn from the Study
Data Point #1-All 38 behaviors play a role in successful leadership. It is important to point out that across the leadership models studied, all 38 behaviors appeared in the top ten of at least two or more of the leadership models. The entire group of 38 behaviors was present and accounted for in identifying successful leadership. This helps us to better understand the need to view each behavior as potentially valuable.
Conclusion-there were no behaviors that could be ignored or excluded from the recipe for successful leadership.
Data Point #2-Successful leadership behaviors are situational. Even the most common or frequently occurring leadership behavior showed up in less than 50% of the models. Stated another way, slightly more than half of the 30 leadership models did not consider Energy (the most frequently occurring behavior) as an important differentiator in identifying successful leadership. The data does not support the notion of a universal or "off-the-shelf" behavioral leadership model that will predict successful leadership.
Conclusion-there was no cut-and-dried combination of behaviors that predicted successful leadership (not even some of the time).
Data Point #3-Most leadership roles required higher than average levels of Energy, but not as high as you might think. Only 21% of the leadership models required high levels of Energy and none of the leadership models required extremely high levels of Energy.
By definition, a high level of Energy is often manifested through lots of activity, but the negative byproduct is hyperactivity, waste, and inefficiency. Practically, an above average level of Energy translates to the leader's ability to keep a group of people focused and moving at the proper pace and in the proper direction without the frustration of hyperactivity. From the follower's perspective, it is important to understand the implications of a sporadic or over-reactive leadership style (extremely high Energy). Think of how frustrating it is to do something and then redo it "just to stay busy" or doing busy work just "because the boss can't sit still." Associates perceive this style as scattered, confusing, and they struggle to find success and fulfillment under such a leadership style. Over time, credibility and respect can be lost, leaving this type of leader ineffective.
Conclusion-The most successful leaders possess above average amounts of energy, but not too much!
Data Point #4-Great leaders are competitive, but they also understand the importance of being supportive. According to the data, 23% of the leadership models required a more supportive approach to leading others. Combined with the 39% of leadership models that required a balanced approach, these findings provide helpful insights to the task of understanding strong leadership. Intuitively, the concept of balancing support with competition makes leadership sense. Leaders must know when competition is appropriate and when being supportive of those around them is more valuable than competing. Think of it as healthy competition-knowing when to turn the competitive juices on and when to turn them off. Without a firm grasp of this concept, overly competitive leaders may alienate those around them and create toxic environments.
Conclusion-A balance of respect for authority and rebelliousness is a common predictor of successful leadership.
Data Point #5-This we know to be true: successful leaders tend to challenge conventional structure and rules. In fact, 42% of the leadership models required a more rebellious approach to leadership. Many organizations rely on their leaders to challenge the current structure and methods that have been historically successful (or unsuccessful, as the case may be). Strong leaders often have an eye for creating positive change that removes stumbling blocks to success.
However, do not go overboard and think that your next leadership hire must behave like James Dean in "Rebel Without a Cause." Keep in mind that 41% of the leadership models required a balance between following authority and challenging the establishment. Not to be forgotten, another 17% of the leadership models required leaders to accept and embrace the structure around them. The practical reality is that successful leaders know how to "choose their battles." Sometimes being a rebel is productive and provides the necessary change, but that must be balanced with the recognition of situations where one must accept the current structure and operate within it.
Conclusion-Successful leaders often have a "rebellious streak" that leads them to challenge the current structure and methods, but they choose their battles wisely.
Summary of Findings
Remember the original question: "What makes a great leader?" Contrary to preconceived notions of what we might expect the answers to be-for example, all successful leaders must be high-energy and extremely competitive while battling the powers-that-be at every opportunity-what I found was not nearly so clear-cut. In fact, successful leaders were scattered all over the behavioral board, ranging from a below average degree of one behavior to a high degree of another.
What do these findings tell you about your organization? Everyone is different, and every leadership behavioral model will vary from company to company. Any so-called "Leadership Model" that offers a one-size-fits-all solution is most likely a failure waiting to happen. As proven in the data for over 4,500 leaders, your leadership staff is very different than the one at the company across the street. As a matter of fact, there is ample documentation of extreme differences between leadership preferences in groups working together within the same organization.
What is the solution to identifying and hiring successful leaders for your team? Learn your organization's strongest leadership traits that translate into success on the job. To accomplish this task manually, look to your own executive and managerial team for clues as to the behaviors that help leaders succeed. A thorough understanding of their job function, productivity expectations, and behavior will provide insight into what makes one person more effective than another in a particular role.
There is an easier way to determine the perfect leadership recipe for your organization across multiple behavioral dimensions. The "automated" method is to use a good behavioral assessment to measure the behaviors of your incumbent leaders. In approximately 30 minutes-the time it takes to complete a validated, reliable behavioral assessment-you could have access to a behavioral profile for every assessed leader in the company. From this data, a profile of a successful leader can be generated and used to duplicate your current crop of successful leaders through better hiring decisions. In addition to bringing more successful leaders on board, behavioral profiles provide content for an employee development program that will drive higher productivity for years to come.
Dr. Jason E. Taylor is the Chief Science Officer at PeopleAnswers Inc. He is a leader in the field of talent assessments in business. Since receiving his Ph.D. from Texas A&M University, Dr. Taylor has pioneered the development of several assessment technologies since the late 1990s. He is an active member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the Society of Industrial Organizational Psychology (SIOP). Visit the PeopleAnswers site at http://www.peopleanswers.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Jason_Taylor,_Ph.D./315017

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Control Anxiety

By 

Even though we suffer from anxiety, life still goes on. We need to learn how to control anxiety so that we may continue to live and prosper. Most people that suffer from anxiety live normal lives. They have families, they work, they love, they raise children, they take vacations and they look just like everyone else. The difference is, we may become anxious or suffer from a panic attack at any moment. These attacks can range from complete debilitation to mild discomfort. Some people are able to hide their attacks and no one around them is the wiser. For an unfortunate few, the anxiety is so overwhelming that it controls their lives and their lifestyle and their behavior is completely based around their anxiety.
Whichever category you may fall under, just know it is possible to function even while you are experiencing anxiety. In the article, Dealing with Anxiety, you read about the fear scale. If you are an 8 or above, it becomes very difficult to focus on anything but your anxiety. For people in that category, it is very important that you work on different methods to bring your fear level down to a 7 or below, before trying some of the tactics in this article. You can manage that by medication, breathing techniques, exercise or meditation. The point is, be pro-active and work towards lowering your anxiety fear level.
Fear Scale
Just to recap from a previous article, keep a journal in which you record daily what you feel your level of anxiety to be. 0 = No fear at all, completely relaxed, 10 = The worst fear you have ever had, complete panic. 4 through 8 represent a discomfort zone of heightened anxiety levels that most people can still function through. If you find yourself in that zone, it is important to work voluntarily in that zone in order to reclaim your life from the anxiety monster. In other words, it is important to CONTROL ANXIETY, rather than anxiety control you. Remember also, you are changing the faulty wiring in your brain by not responding to the false alarm that is being sounded. You are training the way your body responds (the physical symptoms) to your anxiety. At first, this may seem very difficult, but overtime, you will gradually notice the less credit you give your anxiety, the less effect it will have on you. 
A big part of anxiety is our reaction to it. When anxiety triggers in our bodies, we experience physical symptoms. The second bite the anxiety monster takes is our fear of those symptoms. The less fear we have of those symptoms, the less control anxiety has over us. Only active practice will desensitize our nervous system.
Functioning with high levels of anxiety
Most people that experience a high level of anxiety (8 or above) find it very difficult to focus on anything but their anxiety. This makes it very difficult to use any of your calming techniques. That is why it is so important to practice, practice, practice! The time to practice is not when you are in critical mode, but when you are experiencing mild to moderate anxiety. It is during those times that you control anxiety with your breathing techniques or meditation or whatever it is you have found that works for you.
Imagine playing a game of golf with your buddy Jim. The game has come down to the last putt on the last hole of the course. Both you and Jim golf on a regular basis. Over the last few months, Jim has been practicing on his swing while teeing off. You on the other hand have been practicing over the last few months on your putting. You are both about ten feet away from the hole. Who has the better chance of sinking the ball? That's right! You do! It really is that simple, if you practice something, when it comes time to use it, you will be more able to do it than someone who has not practice it. Plain and simple!
If all else fails, remember this, this is unpleasant, but not dangerous. Let me say that again. If you are experiencing anxiety over a level of 8, it is unpleasant, BUT NOT DANGEROUS! You must remember that above all else. The feelings at this high level of anxiety are so overwhelming that it is very easy to respond to the false alarm your body is sounding by concluding that real danger is at hand. Look around you, is anyone else panicking? No? Then nothing is wrong, you are experiencing a false alarm, a few chemicals out of place in your sensitized brain.
Always leave yourself an out
I challenge you to face the anxiety monster head on. But, you may not win the war in one battle. It may take several times, even several months before you feel enough improvement to realize you are winning the war. That is why, before the battle even starts, have an out. Running from the anxiety monster never works. You may feel better, but the monster knows it beat you. And you are training yourself to flee every time you face the monster. An out is different. An out is simply a contract that you have made with yourself beforehand. You have agreed to take a break and to return to the situation in a more manageable way in the near future. If you do take an out, make sure and get back in the fight as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the harder it may be to return.
Baby steps
Use imagery to fight the anxiety monster on your terms. Visualize or imagine the place or situation that causes you anxiety. When the monster shows up, begin working on lowering your anxiety. Keep your eyes closed when you use imagery. Your out is opening your eyes. This exercise is under your complete control. Fight the monster and feel your anxiety levels lowering. If it becomes too much, open your eyes. You are safe, you are in control. Know before you begin an exercise like this, what exactly you are going to do to fight the monster, know what your out is and know that you are in complete control.
Again, this takes practice. Stick with it and I guarantee you will see results. Once you can control the monster using imagery, it is time to step it up a notch and search out the monster on his home turf. If for example you are having trouble driving, imagine driving while in a comfortable setting at home and deal with your anxiety on your terms. Once you have complete control over your anxiety while at home, then it's time to take it a step further. Simply sit in your car in your driveway and begin the exercise all over. Sit back relax, feel the anxiety as it comes on, once your anxiety level is 4 or over, start decreasing it. Once you have mastered this sitting in your car, go for a short slow drive in your neighborhood or find an empty parking lot and repeat the process. From there, find a place you can go a little faster and so on until you are driving on the freeway and control anxiety completely.
My Story
Several years ago I experienced a panic attack while driving down the freeway with my family in the car. I had to pull over and let my wife drive. It was a very embarrassing time for me to say the least. Even worse, I started experiencing anxiety every time I drove with someone in the car.
When I finally had had enough, I decided to do something about my problem. Using imagery, I sat in my favorite comfortable chair at home and closed my eyes. I called out to the anxiety monster and told him he wasn't going to bother me anymore. I focused my thoughts and began daydreaming about taking a drive with my family on the freeway. I tried to make it as real as I could in my mind. Admittedly, I had trouble staying focused at first. I could imagine being in the car and driving down the freeway, but my brain wandered and I began thinking of other things. I was unable to bring up any anxious feelings and the monster did not show up.
But, guess what? I stuck with it and tried again and again. Each day I tried again. On the third day, something happened. I was able to focus enough that I actually began to feel anxious. I pushed into those feelings and tried to increase my anxiety. I actually began to feel more anxious and eventually I was experiencing an anxiety attack. For me, there are two tell tale signs that I experience. I get a lump in my throat and my palms sweat. Once I started feeling anxious, I continued to imagine driving and I began to calm myself with deep breathing (which I had been practicing for a few months prior) and by calming myself using a mild form of meditation. Soon my anxiety disappeared.
Over the next two weeks, I was able to go from making myself anxious while imagining driving and then calming myself, to not being able to make myself anxious at all while imagining driving. I simply lost the fear of pretend driving. That was great, but now it was time to try it for real. My first step was to drive by myself and try to make myself anxious. For some reason, the only time I became anxious is when I had other people in the car with me. I never became anxious while driving alone. I used the same techniques that I did with the imagery, minus closing my eyes, as obviously that wouldn't have worked very well. I went through the exact same process and within a few days, I could no longer make myself anxious while driving alone.
Remember what I said about baby steps? I decided that for my first drive that I would only take one other person with me. I didn't want to overwhelm myself with a car full of people. My wife has been by my side through all of this and she was kind enough to volunteer to go for a ride with me. If I may, I would like to stray for a second and say, if you have someone in your life that "gets you." Recruit them if you can, it makes things so much easier when you have another person on your team. Anyway, for our first drive, I decided to stay in the neighborhood and at speeds 20 MPH and under. I drove around for about ten minutes and realized the anxiety monster was not going to show up. I usually only experienced the attacks while on the freeway.
So, I called out to him and invited him to a fight. I used the exact same process that I did when I was sitting in my favorite chair (except for the eyes closed). And when he showed up, I calmed myself and made him go away. By this point, I had done it so much, I felt in total control. I felt like I had a new super power, I could almost control my anxiety at will. This was very empowering for me because I had experienced anxiety in one form or another for over the last 20 years. I was doing so well, that at that moment, I decided to take my wife for a ride on the freeway.
During that trip, I actually had to think about being anxious, because it was not happening on its own. I know it sounds counter intuitive to try and make yourself anxious, but this was an important step for me, I had to show the anxiety monster who was boss. Try as hard as I may, I was only able to bring my anxiety level up to about a three. In any case, after being mildly anxious for a few minutes and realizing that I was not going to get any more anxious, I began my calming thoughts and literally within a few moments the anxiety was gone.
About a week later I was driving on the freeway, this time with my entire family in the car with me. Traffic around me was moving pretty fast and I was going with the flow. I came up on a long curve in the freeway and had to slow a bit because of my speed. At that moment, guess who showed up. If you guessed the anxiety monster, you would be right. My first reaction was to hit the brakes a little harder than I should have. My wife actually looked over at me and asked if I was okay.
I was so unprepared at that moment to experience anxiety that it actually caught me off guard. But that's how it usually happens isn't it? It often shows up when you least expect it to. At that moment, I actually felt a full blown panic attack coming on and my first thought, as it had been in the past was to pull to the right shoulder. I slowed down and moved into the slow lane and then I remembered all the practicing I had been doing. I suddenly realized what a great opportunity this was going to be for me to actually calm myself in the face of a real panic attack.
You see, all the previous times, it was easy because I had been working on it for a few days in a row, but now, here I was a week later and I was caught unprepared. It was time to see what I was capable of. I do have to say, I felt very confident in my ability to lower my anxiety level, I had done it several times before and was pretty sure I could do it again. The first thing I did was to get my breathing under control. I started taking deep breaths, almost as if I was trying to yawn (I actually did yawn a few times). As soon as I focused on my breathing, I realized that I was taking short rapid breaths, I never really noticed that I was breathing like that until I started focusing on my breathing.
My wife, who I love dearly, has always been very supportive with my anxiety. But, unfortunately at this moment, she actually became a distraction for me. You see, as I began to control my breathing, the next part of the process was to calm my mind. The problem was, my wife sitting next to me in the passenger seat was staring at me and began asking me if I wanted to pull over and let her drive. She was doing this because she was trying to help me, but in fact it was distracting me from being able to calm my mind. I told her to give me a few minutes, but within those few minutes she asked me several times if I was okay and if she needed to drive.
The great thing about the way this happened is that it was as real of a situation as it gets. Most of the other times that I had fought the monster, it was under controlled circumstances. But this time, I had the entire family in the car, I'm on the freeway, the panic snuck up on me and my wife won't stop asking me if I am okay. When I think about it afterwards, I realize that was the perfect situation to fight the monster in, because if I could beat him there, I could beat him anywhere.
I told my wife once more to give me a few minutes and I refocused on my breathing. I was already breathing pretty well, I had been practicing deep breathing for some time now and every time I did it, it was easier and easier to do. With my breathing good, I began calming my mind. I used imagery for this. When I was a little kid, I had an uncle that used to take me fishing at a lake nearby. It was one of my favorite things to do as a child. Previously I had begun using that lake and that time with my uncle as my calm and safe place to be. In practice, I would imagine myself back at the lake with my uncle, it was very peaceful and restful and no harm could come to me there.
With my eyes open (for obvious reasons), I envisioned myself on the shore of the lake. I was with my uncle and we were both fishing. The day was beautiful and warm, the lake was serene. I was at total peace and all was good. I began recalling minor details of those times, the way my fishing pole looked, the way the air smelled, the lunch that my aunt always packed for us. I realized how good I felt and how happy I was.
It was only a matter of minutes before I realized that I was fine and that the panic had left me as quick as it had shown up. My wife, who had been quiet for several minutes, finally spoke up and I will never forget what she asked me. She asked, "Why are you smiling?" I hadn't even realized it, but I had a smile spread across my face. As she asked this, I looked in the rear view mirror and sure enough, I had a grin on my face. I looked at my wife and simply said, "I made it go away." I have to tell you, that was one of the most powerful moments in my life. I suddenly felt like anxiety would never be a problem for me again.
Fast forward five years later and I have some retrospective comments to make. First, unfortunately, it was not the last of my anxiety. I still to this day occasionally feel anxious. What I have come to realize is that it is never going to go completely away. But, and it's a big BUT, since that day I have never experienced anxiety over a four. Before I allow it to go any higher, I calm myself and bring it back down. I used to experience full blown panic attacks where I would suddenly stand up or stop what I was doing and feel completely lost and confused. I would think I needed to call 911. It was that bad, not anymore though and for that I am thankful.
The second thing I realized is this, the reason I was able to get my anxiety under control that afternoon driving with my family, is because of all the time and practice I put in before hand. You have to understand that the first time you try these techniques, they are not going to necessarily work. Especially if you try to use them while you are in full blown panic mode. You must practice your breathing, you must practice calming your mind, then and only then will it start working for you.
It is funny, this article actually took me a few days to write. This morning while I was dressing for work an interesting thought occurred to me. I recently had a job change within my work. This job change required that I start wearing a tie to work. I have always been horrible at tying a tie. So, I found a youtube video and learned how to tie a double Windsor knot. For the first month, while putting on my tie, I would take my I-phone and set it down in front of me and follow the video step by step. It was the only way I could successfully tie my tie in a double Windsor knot. This morning, as I have for the last few months, I was tying my tie while looking in the mirror and I was amazed at how easy it was to tie a double Windsor knot. I watched as my fingers deftly maneuvered the tie until I was finished. I realized, just like my anxiety, I was only able to accomplish this task after several weeks of practice.
Isn't that just like everything in life? The more we do something, the better we become at it. No matter what you want to accomplish in life, the more you try, the more you do it, the more you practice, the better you become at it. There is no difference with anxiety. It may take you weeks or even months, but if you stick with techniques mentioned in my site you will eventually master them and then you will master your anxiety.
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Thank you and be well.