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What Your Anxiety May Be Trying To Tell You - And Why It's Important To Listen

By Rebecca C Mandeville

Is Your Anxiety Trying To Tell You Something Important?

What if anxiety is not always just a symptom to be treated, but a 'health-seeking signal' inviting us to reconnect with the truest parts of ourselves that have been neglected or repressed? Below is a recent example from my work as a licensed Psychotherapist illustrating how anxiety at times acts as an important messenger inviting us to heal psycho-emotional wounds sustained in childhood and adolescence, if only we are able and willing to tune in and listen.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is commonly believed to be an automatic, 'built-in' response to perceived threats, and is often referred to as our 'fight-or-flight arousal', or 'fight or flight response' as a species. Therefore, it stands to reason that children who grew up in chaotic, possibly traumatic home environments where their fight or flight (arousal) response was frequently activated are susceptible to developing various kinds of anxiety disorders even prior to the onset of adulthood. Hence, it is a concern that physicians and psychiatrists whose patients report anxiety that is interfering with their daily functioning and quality of life typically prescribe anti-anxiety medication, but do not always recommend that their patient also consider seeing a qualified Mental Health professional so as to explore the possible root cause(s) of the anxiety, such as early childhood trauma that has been unknowingly repressed (the focus of this article), as well as identify possible additional or alternative (i.e., non-prescription) treatments.

Signs And Symptoms Of Anxiety

Although anxiety can take on many forms, the below are signs and symptoms commonly associated with this behavioral health disorder:

• Excessive Worry
• Irritability
• Sleep Disturbance
• Poor Concentration
• Restlessness
• Muscle Tension
• Fatigue

Psychotherapy As A Means Of Successfully Treating Chronic Anxiety

What if anxiety was not always something to be avoided and/or medicated away, but was instead something it would benefit us to be curious about? One way that I invite my clients to explore this possibility is to ask them to tune into their thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations the next time they notice they are feeling anxious. What is happening right then in the moment? Was there a possible 'trigger' initiating the anxiety? As the following Case Study illustrates, this simple exercise alone can provide invaluable information regarding what anxiety 'signals' might be trying to convey.

A Case Study Addressing Anxiety

I once had a client (whom I will call 'Jeremy - not his actual name) share with me in session that he had recently felt extreme anxiety when he entered a hotel lobby on a business trip. He attributed this to what he thought was the 'Generalized Anxiety Disorder' (GAD) he had been diagnosed with by a psychiatrist years before, prior to beginning his psychotherapeutic work with me. I suggested early on in therapy that he begin keeping an 'Awareness Journal' and to write in this journal whenever he experienced particularly strong symptoms of anxiety. During one such onset of extreme symptoms that occurred during a business trip, Jeremy realized while writing in his journal that he had begun experiencing anxiety symptoms when he saw a certain type of old-fashioned couch in the hotel lobby he had just walked into. Upon further reflection in his Awareness Journal, Jeremy suddenly realized that the retro-style couch looked nearly identical in style and in color to a couch that was in the living room of the home he had lived in as a child. Needless to say, this gave us much to explore in this and future sessions as he began to remember and share traumatic events from childhood that up until then he had unknowingly repressed.

Over time, the chronic, 'generalized' anxiety Jeremy had been suffering from for years receded as he continued to work diligently in psychotherapy to reconnect with the wounded, 'lost' parts of himself he had disconnected from during childhood while growing up in a chaotic, unpredictable, alcoholic family system. He eventually chose to stop taking his anti-anxiety medication under the supervision of a physician and is able to self-manage his anxiety symptoms via deep breathing exercises and Mindfulness Meditation practices he learned during therapy, along with Somatic-Psychology techniques (for more information on the use and efficacy of Somatic-Psychology in the treatment and healing of trauma refer toBessel van der Kolk's book The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma). Jeremy also continues to self-reflect in his Awareness Journal, which has become a critical aspect of his ongoing psycho-emotional healing and growth. (Note: Details of specific client cases have been changed to protect privacy).

Anxiety and Psychotropic Medication

While taking anti-anxiety medication to minimize anxiety symptoms is a personal choice, and in some cases is medically advisable, there are other effective interventions that a person suffering from anxiety can pursue, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy; keeping an Awareness Journal as part of ongoing Psychotherapeutic-based Intrapsychic / Family Systems work (as discussed in the above Case Study); engaging in deep breathing exercises; yoga; daily physical exercise; and homeopathic remedies as prescribed by a Naturopathic doctor.

Recent research also confirms that Mindfulness Meditation can be highly effective in addressing anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness is a practice that involves being fully engaged in whatever is going on around you. "It is simply the act of paying attention to whatever you are experiencing, as you experience it", explains Kate Hanley, author of A Year of Daily Calm: A Guided Journal for Creating Tranquility Every Day. "By choosing to turn your attention away from the everyday chatter of the mind and on to what your body is doing, you give the mind just enough to focus on that it can quiet down." In 2013 researchers at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center published a study that confirmed that Mindfulness Meditation reduces anxiety at a neural level.

Working Mindfully With Anxiety

As the above brief discussion illustrates, there may be far more to anxiety than meets the eye. While it is understandable why anyone experiencing anxiety would want relief from these extremely uncomfortable symptoms, it may be that the symptoms themselves are pointing to possible solutions to those who are willing to explore their anxiety via mindfully cultivating an attitude of acceptance, curiosity, and patience. Journaling, painting, and other forms of creative expression, as well as psychotherapy and/or sharing in a support group, may offer a means of discovering the wisdom that anxiety has to offer.

A special note of caution: It is recommended that a person experiencing frequent anxiety symptoms get a complete physical to rule out disorders like Graves (Thyroid) Disease, and other medical conditions that can cause extreme and/or chronic anxiety symptoms.

Rebecca C. Mandeville, MA, MACP, MFT, is a licensed Psychotherapist and Transformational Guidance Expert. In 2016 she established her new Transformational Life Coaching practice, 'ChainFree Living Transformational Life Coaching & Guidance Services', assisting clients nationally. Her unique and very effective Transformational Life Coaching and Guidance methods and the free online peer-support Community Forum she offers via her ChainFree Living website are designed to assist individuals in consciously reconnecting with their true self in support of emotionally honest, authentic, embodied living.

Rebecca's Transformational Life Coaching and Guidance Services are ideal for people who are committed to doing whatever it takes to learn, expand, change, develop, and grow in order to achieve their goals, realize their dreams, and live in an emotionally honest, energized, and awakened manner. Her methods are particularly effective for adults who may have been exposed to psycho-emotional abuse, neglect, or a 'toxic', dysfunctional family system growing up and who are still in contact with difficult, challenging family members.

Visit Rebecca at ChainFree Living Transformational Life Coaching & Guidance Services to learn more about how anxiety may actually be a signal generated by your true self nature. You can also subscribe to Rebecca's blog to receive her latest featured articles, as well as take her free brief quiz, 'Are You Living As Your True Self?', as hiding our real selves behind a mask can also contribute to the develop of persistent anxiety symptoms.

Special Offer: Rebecca is currently offering a free transformational life coaching strategy session so that you can explore how her services can help you develop both personally and professionally. Sign up for your free strategy session today!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rebecca_C_Mandeville/2259111

Tony Robbins - LIMITLESS PASSION (Inspirational Video)

Be inspired; another great motivational talk by Tony Robbins

7 Tips for Developing Your Personal Philosophy

by Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn was broke at 25 and a millionaire by 31. How does an Idaho farm boy make it to Beverly Hills? This is how…

At 25, there was nothing in my bank and I needed to provide for my family. As I was considering what to do, I met John Earl Shoaff, a wealthy entrepreneur who became my employer for the next five years. He revolutionized my life and taught me the importance of developing my personal philosophy, to look for those few things that make the most difference and to spend most of my time doing those things. It isn’t a complex or mystical process but a principle that can make a difference in how your life turns out.

Related: Rohn: How to Create a Master Plan for Your Life

While there are many puzzle pieces for success, without developing a sound philosophy, the other pieces are of little value. So as you go forward on this journey toward success, remember to:

1. Set your sail.

The winds of circumstance blow upon all of us. We all have experienced the winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak, but why do people arrive at such different places at the end of the journey? Have we not all sailed upon the same sea?

The major difference isn’t circumstance; it’s the set of the sail, or the way we think—it’s what we do after we’ve set our sails and the wind decides to change direction. When the winds change, we must change. We have to struggle to our feet and reset the sail in a manner that will steer us in the direction of our own deliberate choice. The set of the sail, or how we think and how we respond, has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than any challenges we face. How quickly we respond to adversity is far more important than adversity itself.

The great challenge of life is to control the process of our own thinking.

2. Learn from success and failure.

The best way to establish a new and powerful personal philosophy is to objectively review the conclusions you’ve drawn about life. Any conclusion you’ve drawn that isn’t working for you could be working against you. The best way to counteract misinformation and wrong data is to input new and accurate information. Gather information from personal experience. If you’re doing something wrong, evaluate what you did wrong and change things.

Seek an objective, outside voice about how you are and what you’re doing. An objective opinion from someone you respect can lead you to early and accurate information about your decision-making process. Listen to the freshness of an outside voice—someone who can see the forest and isn’t lost in the trees.

Observe the successes and failures of other people. If people who failed were to give seminars, it would be helpful. You could see how people mess up and you wouldn’t do what they did. Past failures and errors prompt us to amend current conduct so we don’t replicate the past.

Study from people who do well. Each of us should be in a constant search for people we admire and respect and whose behavior we can model. It’s far better to deliberately choose the people we will permit to influence us than to allow bad influences to affect us without our conscious choice.

3. Read all you can.

People from all walks of life who’ve had some of the most incredible experiences have taken the time to write of these experiences so we can be instructed and amend our philosophies.

The contributions of other people enable us to reset our sails based upon their experiences. Books offer treasures of information that can change our lives, fortunes, relationships, health and careers for the better.

There are two books you need to read to build your philosophy: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason.

4. Keep a journal.

A journal is a gathering place for all of our observations and discoveries about life. It’s our own handwritten transcript that captures our experiences, ideas, desires and conclusions about the people and the events that have touched our lives. The past, when properly documented, is one of the best guides for making good decisions.

The very act of writing about our lives helps us think more objectively about our actions. Writing tends to slow down the flow of information and gives us time to analyze and ponder the experience. The intense scrutiny of journal writing can enable us to make refinements in our philosophy that are truly life-changing.

Jot down what you learn and be a buyer of empty books. It’s the small disciplines that lead to great accomplishments.

5. Observe and listen.

Pay attention during your day, watch what’s going on. Surround yourself with people you respect and admire. Find people whose personalities and achievements stimulate, fascinate and inspire you, and then strive to assimilate their best qualities. This is called the skill of selecting. Don’t waste your time on the silly and the shallow.

One of the major reasons people don’t do well is because they keep trying to get through the day while a more worthy cause is to get from the day. We must become sensitive enough to observe and ponder what is happening around us. Be alert. Be awake. Often the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among seemingly insignificant events.

Be a good listener. Find a voice of value and stay for a while. With so many voices vying for your attention, you need to develop the skill of selective listening and only dial into the radio station that appeals to you. If a voice is not leading to the achievement of your goals, exercise caution in how long you listen.

6. Be disciplined.

Every day is filled with dozens of personal crossroads, moments when we’re called upon to make a decision regarding minor as well as major questions. These decisions chart a path to a future destination. With careful mental preparation, we can make wise choices.

The development of a sound philosophy prepares us for making sound decisions. When we eat healthy foods, we experience positive results in a short time. When we start exercising, we feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of self-confidence.

New disciplines practiced daily will produce exciting results. The magic of new disciplines causes us to amend our thinking.

7. Don’t neglect.

Neglect is the major reason people don’t have what they want. If you don’t take care of things in your life, neglect becomes a disease. If you neglect to do good things with your money, you probably neglect to do good things with your time. If you don’t know what’s going on with your health or your bank account, you could be at risk.

Set up new disciplines to change your life. Don’t neglect. Everything is within our reach if we will read books, use journals, practice the disciplines and wage a new and vigorous battle against neglect.

Build your philosophy. Commit yourself to a new journey and say, I’m going to change my life.  Once you do, you’ll never look back.

Taken from http://www.success.com/article/rohn-7-tips-for-developing-your-personal-philosophy

MINDSHIFT by Tony Robbins - Motivational Video

Are You Providing Daily Nourishment to Your Spiritual Self?

By Dr Awdhesh Singh

Man is a strange animal. Like any other animal he has basic instinct and the desires for food, sex and shelter. Most people in today's' world do not have much problem in fulfilling such desires. There are millions in this world, who have earned so much wealth that they can easily satisfy all these basic needs.

Yet there is something that makes a man unhappy due to the needs that remain unsatisfied and a man always craves for it.

We do not know what it is but what we know for sure is that it is not related to body. It is, therefore, not materialistic.

Scriptures called such non-material entity as Spirit.

The Spiritual Self

In order to understand the mystery of spirit, let is hypothetically assume ourselves to be made of two selves. One is the PHYSICAL SELF i.e. the body which is made of material particles, which can be seen and measured. It has a desire that is physical in nature and needs material tings for its fulfilment.

Now, imagine that there is another self of man called SPIRITUAL SELF. The spiritual self is not material hence can not have any shape or size. Yet for the sake of simplicity, let us assume it to look like the physical self that is same the body of the person.

The physical and spiritual self of the person lives together in same person. One follows the law of this world while the other follows the law of the Spiritual World. They are quite identical and may be considered to be mirror image of each other.

The Spiritual Self is not visible to the world as it is not material. It is part of the Spiritual World which lies hidden to the eyes of the senses.

However, the physical self knows and understand its twin (Spiritual Self) intuitively as like a twin, it feels the emotions of the twin.

The Physical Needs of Man

We know that the body of the person needs regular nourishment for its survival. We need to eat food, drink water and inhale air to live. If any of the supplies are cut, the physical body can't live any longer.

The food is needed by the body, as it provides energy and nourishment to body. There are billions of cells in the body that are dying every day. These have to be removed and replaced by new cells. These cells are formed only from the food we eat when combined with water and oxygen. If we stop eating or drinking, the body craves for the food and water and we feel hungry and thirsty. When a man is hungry, his mind is focused in fulfilling these desires. Most of the animals get into action only when they are hungry. They desperately look for food that satisfies their hunger. Once their hunger is satisfied, they feel filled till such time they get the pain of hunger again.

The needs of the different material things vary. For example, air is needed every few second. No one can live if air supply is disconnected even for a few minutes. Man can however, live for days without the supply of food. However, he would not survive for more than few days without water. Man also has the sexual need that is necessary for the reproduction of the species.

All the physical needs of the body are cyclic in nature. Once they are satisfied, the body is happy. However, after sometime the needs come back once the material supplied is consumed by the physical body.

If the physical body has the physical needs, shouldn't the spiritual self also have the spiritual needs?

The Spiritual Needs of Man

Just like the physical body needs nourishment from the physical matters found in the world, the spiritual self also needs spiritual nourishment.

What are these spiritual nourishments? 

The spiritual needs of the person can be understood from the analogy of body itself. The spiritual self of the person can be considered to be a part of the Spirit (Holy Spirit) whom we often call God. Thus rough this spiritual self, man is connected with every other creation of the universe just like a thread connects all beads together in a garland.

Thus for understanding the Spiritual Self, let us imagine the whole world as the body of the Spirit and the man like a cell in the body. Like a cell, he experiences the pains and pleasures of any cell or organ of the body.

When eyes see a beautiful object, the whole body (hence every cell) feels happy.

When the stomach is filled, the whole body gets satisfied.

When the man get pain in his head or limb, the pain is felt by the whole body.

Thus the Spiritual Self being part of the Spirit gets affected by the feelings of the Spirit. It gets happiness in the happiness in others, while pain from the pain of others.

The spiritual self, like the physical self, does not live in isolation and disconnected with other people in this world but it is connected with everything and everybody else just like a cell is connected with all cells of the body directly or indirectly. It needs nourishment from the Holy Spirit just like a cell needs nourishment.

These nourishments may be termed as the spiritual needs of the person.

If physical self is the twin of the spiritual self then the spiritual needs to be fulfilled at regular interval else his spiritual self would become weaker and remain no more. In such situation, man will have only the physical self alive and he would become just an animal.

Spiritual Needs Are for Real

We may think that the spiritual needs are only a figment of imagination of the author. After all, most people do not consider themselves to be spiritual at all. Yet most people live their life and also enjoy it.

Are we taking the spiritual nourishment for granted as it is provided automatically by the system or the civilization developed by the mankind?

Is it not true that all animals have their physical needs satisfied even without any knowledge of it?

A dog or a cat or a cow or a lion knows very well how to satisfy its physical needs. It comes to him by as basic instinct. Initially, they all satisfy these needs from their mother, when they are little or just born. The milk of the mother provides the nourishment in their childhood. As the animal grows up, it gradually develops the strength to satisfy these needs themselves.

The children of man are far more protected. Their physical needs are satisfied by their parents even till their late adulthood. They not only get the milk from their mother but also food, shelter and clothing till they are quite grown up.

The spiritual needs of the child are similarly satisfied by their parents and elders since their early childhood. Every child gets the love of their parents particularly the mother since the time it is born. He feels important as when he cries, the whole world (his family) runs to fulfill his needs.

As he grows up he gets love, affection, importance from his siblings, cousins, and friends automatically. A person is always surrounded by other people who fill his life with love and compassion. Thus most of the people fail to understand that love is so important in their lives.

We take love for granted just like we take the air for granted as it is available to every person freely.

However, like air, we feel the pain of spiritual suffocation, when this supply is disconnected from us.

A Life without Spiritual Nourishment

Imagine that you get up in the morning and find that nobody in this world except you have survived some disaster. You go out and find everyone dead. Not even an animal is surviving.

What would you do?

How would you feel?

Will you feel happy because the whole world now belongs to you?

Or you feel sad because none is there to share your emotions.

We know intuitively that we can never feel happy in such situation even if the whole world is given to us with all its gold, diamonds, palaces and everything.

We need people and other lives to make us happy.

This of course is an extreme example which perhaps can never happen to us. But consider another hypothetical situation which is not so strange and impossible.

Consider that in one morning, you find that everyone has left you. You have no friend, no family, no connection with the people by any means like TV, mobile phones or internet. Everyone hates you and no one wants to see you or speak to you. However, you have everything material wealth available in your house that can take care of all your physical needs.

This situation is not impossible as many dictators and autocrats suffered such fate in their lives.

Most of us fear sometime in our lives that such situation is probable unless we take care of the emotions of others.

Lot of our good deeds happens in this world because people can't imagine themselves falling in such situation.

Many people in their old age in fact pass through such phases and situation.

You can well imagine what you would do in such situation?

Perhaps you will get up in the morning, prepare food, eat and then see outside world, walk for sometime and sleep. This may continue for few days. Yet we will perhaps start feeling a vacuum in our life which can only be fulfilled if we are connected with other people.

What are we missing when we are disconnected with rest of the world?

We are surely not missing anything material. These needs are well taken care of.

These non-material needs are the spiritual needs. If these needs are not fulfilled, the spiritual self would remains no more after sometime and the man would either become an animal or become mad and die by ending his physical self.

Take Your Daily Dose of Spiritual Nourishment

Fortunately, the human society is developed in such a way that most of us have their spiritual needs satisfied every day.

When you get up in the morning and see you spouse, parents, friends , children in your house whom you love, you get the first dose of spiritual nourishment. Then you go to work, school or business where you meet friends and many other people. When you make them happy, you too get spiritual nourishment from their happiness.

Even when you are physically disconnected with your loved ones due to travel or business, you talk to them on phone and get connected through emails and letters which provide nourishment. When you see news or other favourite program you empathies with many people and that fills you spiritually. You feel happy at their happiness and cry at their pain. This connection provides the much needed nourishment.

When a man has no company, he can still find nourishment in the company of other animals like their pet dogs. Some people find these nourishments in the service of the nature by planting trees and by brining goodness in this life.

Every person does find spiritual nourishment by loving others and serving others just like their own selves. Every selfless service to others provides nourishment to the spiritual self just like every intake of food provides nourishment to the body. 

The Key to Happiness

Just like the body can not survive for long without the physical nourishment, the spiritual self can not survive for long without the regular dose of spiritual nourishment. This nourishment comes from selfless service to others which come automatically to a person once he loves others like his own self. The importance of spiritual nourishment must be understood by every person as without a healthy spiritual self, man can become an animal or a brute. A man can live happily and joyfully only if both his selves i.e. the physical self and the spiritual self are healthy due to their regular nourishment.

A Brief Profile of Dr Awdhesh K Singh

I am an Engineer by education, a public officer by profession and a spiritual person by intuition. I hold my PhD degree in the field of E-Governance. I am a founding member of The Aatmic Science Foundation (The Science of Soul Foundation) that is working for the synthesis between all religions, spirituality and sciences.

The website of the foundation is [http://www.scienceofsoul.com]. My main area of study and research is to use religions, spirituality and scientific methods of investigations to understand and solve the real life problems of human beings. I have published hundreds of articles and research papers on this topic on various websites and journals.

Please contact me on my email aksinghirs [a] yahoo.com for any help, suggestions or feedback.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr_Awdhesh_Singh/122045

The Secret to Self-Motivation | One of the Best Speeches Ever

Great video - take a look and let me know what you think

Stress Management - How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope With Stress

By Prashant M Chauhan

It may seem that there's nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren't going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you're in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.

Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems.

The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation and fun - plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

Identify the sources of stress in your life

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn't as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren't always obvious and it's all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Sure, you may know that you're constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it's your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.

To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

• Do you explain away stress as temporary ("I just have a million things going on right now") even though you can't remember the last time you took a breather?

• Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life ("Things are always crazy around here") or as a part of your personality ("I have a lot of nervous energy, that's all").

• Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control. 

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed; keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes.

Write down:

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you're unsure).

• How you felt, both physically and emotionally.

• How you acted in response.

• What you did to make yourself feel better.

Look at how you currently cope with stress. Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are you 

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

• Smoking

• Drinking too much

• Overeating or under-eating

• Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer

• Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

• Using pills or drugs to relax

• Sleeping too much

• Procrastinating

• Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems

• Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it's helpful to think of the four A's: Avoid, Alter, Adapt or Accept.

Change the situation:

• Avoid the stressor.

• Alter the stressor.

Change your reaction:

• Adapt to the stressor.

• Accept the stressor.

Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no "one size fits all" solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Stress management strategy #1:

Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it's not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

• Learn how to say "no" - Know your limits and stick to them. Taking on more than you can handle is a sure-fire recipe for stress.

• Avoid people who stress you out - If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can't turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.

• Take control of your environment - If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic's got you tense, take a longer but less travelled route.

• Avoid hot-button topics - If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it's the topic of discussion.

• Trim down your to-do list - Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you've got too much on your plate, distinguish between the "shoulds" and the "musts." Drop tasks that aren't truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Stress management strategy #2:

Alter the situation

If you can't avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn't present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don't voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.

• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behaviour, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you'll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.

• Be more assertive. Don't take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you've got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.

• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you're stretched too thin and running behind, it's hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don't overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you're under.

Stress management strategy #3:

Adapt to the stressor

If you can't change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favourite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? An year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with "good enough."

• Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Adjusting Your Attitude 

How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical wellbeing. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.

Stress management strategy #4:

Accept the things you can't change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can't prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it's easier than railing against a situation you can't change.

• Don't try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control- particularly the behaviour of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

• Look for the upside. As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.

• Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you're going through can be very cathartic, even if there's nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.

• Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy #5:

Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you'll be in a better place to handle life's stressors when they inevitably come.

Healthy ways to relax and recharge

• Go for a walk.

• Spend time in nature.

• Call a good friend.

• Sweat out tension with a good workout.

• Write in your journal.

• Take a long bath.

• Light scented candles

• Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.

• Play with a pet.

• Work in your garden.

• Get a massage.

• Curl up with a good book.

• Listen to music.

• Watch a comedy

Don't get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

• Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don't allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.

• Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

• Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.

• Keep your sense of humour. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Learn the relaxation response

You can control your stress levels with relaxation techniques that evoke the body's relaxation response, a state of restfulness that is the opposite of the stress response. Regularly practicing these techniques will build your physical and emotional resilience, heal your body, and boost your overall feelings of joy and equanimity.

Stress management strategy #6:

Adopt a healthy lifestyle

You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.

• Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension.

• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day. 

• Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you'll feel more relaxed and you'll sleep better.

• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don't avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

• Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

This is my first article for E-Zine and I look forward to feedback from people who take time and read it. Please let me know the negatives so that I can get better.

Thanks.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Prashant_M_Chauhan/1744638

You BECOME What You #BELIEVE! - Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) - Top 10 Rules

Another great set of rules from the entrepreneur - take a look and comment below

Live Your Bliss Life

By Donna Lynn

So what is this bliss thing and how do I get it?

The definition as found online is:

Bliss: "perfect happiness; great joy." "Reach a state of perfect happiness, typically so as to be oblivious of everything else."

This doesn't mean it has to be 100% of the time. Being in bliss (or a state of bliss) for any length of time is the goal.

Finding your bliss is a process and one that I don't think has an end but one that becomes more enjoyable and dare I say blissful? You'll get there, just be easy on yourself.

There are a four key areas that can assist you in getting to your bliss or "state of bliss". Think of them as CHIP: Choice, Heart, Intention and Perception.

1. Choice: "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities"
Happiness is a choice. Oh how I did not like hearing that the first time. What do you mean it's a choice! I didn't ask for these horrible things to happen to me, and I'm supposed to choose to be happy about it!? Have you lost your mind? How dare you tell me it's a choice! Well, it kind of is...

I know, I know, you're life sob story means you can't be happy and you can't be happy until... I meet the perfect mate, until I rid myself of my current mate, until I'm rich, until I'm out of debt, until I have my own home, until I have a new car, until I get a bigger boat and on and on.

Now, you could get all defiant and start in about how babies don't have a choice and therefore this can't be true. Okay, fine, if that's how you "choose" to see it, then so it is. And then you say, I didn't CHOOSE it, it is how it is! We can keep going in circles here if you'd like, OR

• What if... you choose a more positive point of view when looking at a situation (yes, the glass can be half full instead of half empty)
• What if... you choose to find joy in the moment, any moment, one moment
• What if... you don't wait for that thing to make me happy, or that person to make me happy and just decide to be happy, just smile already!
• What if... you laugh for no other reason than it feels good
• What if... you choose to decide you can make a choice to be happy and choose to look at the good things in life and not focus on the bad
• What if... you are grateful for everything, and not just the BIG things

• It may be tough at first to come up with a list of 10 things to be grateful for. They may seem very small and "stupid". Like my pillow. I love my pillow and my bed and having a window next to it where a cool breeze can come in and my dogs laying at my feet, etc. There are so many things that we just take for granted and don't even think about. But, if you are someone that has no clean water or fresh air, you better believe those would be HUGE items on their list so why not yours? 

• I am happy/peaceful in nature, but I get that it's not for everyone and that's fine. I do love my yard, it's like my own sanctuary/park. There was a time I only saw my yard as more work and something to be upset about, but now I see it as my happy place and it doesn't feel like "work" anymore.
• That's the cool part, there isn't ONE thing for everyone, but everyone can have their own thing/s.

And by the way, where is it written that we're supposed to be unhappy "until" anyway? When I chose to change my perspective and looked at this in a different way, well, I thought, why can't I choose to be happy! Who gets to set the rules about when and why to be happy, I DO! I'm tired of other people or my old thought patterns telling me why I can't be happy. Man, are we a negative bunch of folks or what? How about we start talking about why we can be happy!

2. Heart: "the central or innermost part of something; like very much; love". Coming from your heart instead of your head is a simple way to help you find a more positive perspective. Many don't realize their perspective is coming from thought patterns they've developed over time in their "minds". You just keep repeating the same old thought patterns. Again, it doesn't matter why. Don't get hung up thinking about the why and how of these thoughts, just know you have the power to change them. Now, imagine these thoughts funneling through your "heart" first and over time they start to become more positive, loving and uplifting. When you stop yourself as you realize you're having another one of your same old negative thoughts, go to your heart. It may help to put your hand on your heart and then imagine seeing this situation from your heart and funneling through a new channel of love instead of an old channel in your mind.

3. Intention: "a thing intended; an aim or plan". When you wake up in the morning, what is you intention? Do you want to be grumpy, kick the dog, yell at the kids and stomp out the door to that stupid job and those idiot people you have to work with? I doubt anyone purposely intends that this is the kind of day they want to have, but so many times it's what they end up with.

Intention is interesting and I wonder what would happen if more people would stop and ask themselves; what is my intention in this situation or what was their intention in this situation? It seems so often we default to believing that all intentions are bad. They have "evil" intentions. I mean, wouldn't you have to believe that if you are always on the defensive? I need to get them before they get me mentality. Why? Do you believe they have bad intentions for you? Do you have bad intentions for them? Is this negative view helping you or anyone?

Let me share an example of what I mean. Let's say your child pulls out your favorite flowers in the garden and brings them and the dirt into your just cleaned house and you go ballistic. You yell at them and tell them how stupid they are and look what they've done! Now YOU have to clean again! You send them to their room and you cry over your dirty carpet and the missing flowers in the garden.

Was the child's intention to make a mess and destroy the flower garden? Your reaction was as if it were. OR were they wanting to give the Mom they love unconditionally the beautiful flowers they saw her admiring and surprise her with a bouquet that they pulled all by themselves with their very own hands? Kind of stops ya cold doesn't it. What do you suppose their perspective is now?

And what was your intention in screaming at your child? Were you teaching them a lesson? If so, what lesson were you intending to teach? Do you see where I'm going here?

If you do something with good intentions, and it goes bad, does that mean what you did was wrong? No. If you do something with bad intentions and it turns out good, does that mean what you did was wrong? Yes.
If you wake up with an intention of getting even and I'll show them, how do you suppose your day will look? How do you suppose you'll come across to others? And how will they respond? And when they respond poorly to your presence, you then say SEE, I told you so, and then you justify why you're in a foul mood! Funny how that works isn't it. So;

• What if... upon awaking you set an intention of having a GREAT day, of being happy, of doing something nice for someone else just because.
• Just lay there in bed for a couple extra minutes, taking some deep breathes and setting some intentions and smile
• What if... instead of assuming the worst about someone, you find out what their intention is before you make a negative judgment or just start assuming they have good intentions until otherwise shown

How many disagreements and hurts could have been avoided if the intentions had been to help and heal and not to be "right" or "win" at all cost. 

4. Perspective: "a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view."
Perspective is what you want it to be. I mean, isn't it funny how people have such differing perspectives of the same situation? How can this be? Do I need to bring up politics?

If you have decided (for whatever reason/s) that everything you do and every situation you "look at" is going to be bad or negative and you are always the victim, then guess what? IT IS and YOU ARE! And hey, if you're okay with that, then more power to ya, own it! But just know, you're not going to find bliss in this condition.

If you're not okay with it and instead of continuing a behavior just because it's how it's always been, then;
• What if... you start to notice or just acknowledge you may be looking at things in a negative way (doesn't matter why) and;
• What if... you stop yourself and your thoughts as soon as you notice they are negative thoughts (perspectives) and you begin replacing them with more upbeat thoughts and finding a more upbeat perspective of a situation (the glass is half full or half empty).

It may be a bit bumpy at first and that's OK! It's a process. Stopping yourself from going into your pity party is tough when it's all you've known. BUT if you want something different you have to do something different.

Assume the best in situations and in people. Instead of walking around with your head down assuming everyone is out to get you; hold your head up, put a smile on your face and say HELLO to a stranger! You will be amazed at how good just doing that feels. And, you may have just made someone else's day and that should make you happy cause we are all in this together.

Set an intention of doing well, of being good. Set an intention of love, being love, expecting love. Set an intention of living in bliss, of being happy, of living joyfully. These could also be mantras or I AM statements. I AM love, I AM bliss, I AM happy, I AM compassion, etc. and start your morning with those.

It's okay if you're not 100% happy all the time. You get to choose and just knowing you can might make all the difference. If you're intentions are good and your perspective is positive, then getting to happy becomes easier. If something goes wrong (as it will) you can allow yourself some time to be grumpy or sad and then tell myself, okay, that's enough, time to get on with it!

Have we found our bliss yet? CHIP in and move through the process and I know you will!

Soul message: Lighten up on yourselves. Stop beating yourself up for every little thing. You have nothing to prove and are beautiful souls just as you are. It is your right to be happy and you are worthy of happiness just for being. Enjoy the bliss.

If you enjoyed my article, please join me on my journey, gain some wisdom and have some fun. Follow my blog and let's do this together. https://liveyourbliss.blog/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Donna_Lynn/2434446

Anthony Robbins - A Habit Of Positive Thinking

Tony Robbins with more inspiring advice

10 Ways Exercise Boosts Your Self Confidence

By Josee Smith

All of us want to feel good about ourselves. When we are confident, we feel better emotionally and mentally and this reflects in a very positive way in our behaviours, and improves our quality of life, everything from personal relationships to our professional endeavours.

Therefore, anything, which can help boost our self-confidence, is good for us. One of the best ways to boost your self-confidence is by exercising regularly. This is not only good for self-assurance but has great health benefits.

So how can exercise boost self-confidence?

Here Are 10 Ways How Exercising Boosts Your Confidence

1. Weight control. Exercising along with healthy eating is the best way to control weight or lose weight. This is all about energy intake and energy burning. Obviously, if you burn more energy than you take in, then the more you will lose weight. Being overweight is a confidence destroyer. Therefore the better shape you are, the better you will feel.

2. Improves mood. There's nothing better emotionally than a good workout. Before you think that this requires a trip to the gym, think again. A good workout could be a brisk walk, or a jog. In fact, anything that makes your bodywork physically harder can be a workout. What this does is to stimulate brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which promote a general feeling of well-being. The results are a reduction in stress and anxiety.

3. It's good for the heart. Regular exercising lowers the risk of various heart-related conditions. Exercising has been proven to lower blood pressure, reduce problems associated with diabetes and can even help in fighting heart disease. This is quite logical - if exercising reduces weight, then this means that the heart has to work less and in turn, the heart is much healthier. There is also less pressure on joints and other areas of the body. 

4. Keeps the body in shape. This is slightly different from weight control. Being is shape involves having a well-toned body and better posture - all aspects connected with self-confidence. When a person feels good about themselves, it's easier to make friends and more connections in life means more confidence.

5. More energy. If we don't have the energy to do things, then everything becomes a chore. That can lead to feelings of feeling bad about oneself. Regular exercise helps the whole bodywork more effectively. The result is that chores become responsibilities and the more responsibility we are coping with, the better we feel.

6. Better sleep. Regular exercise promotes good sleep. It is proven that sleep is necessary for general feelings of well-being. Sleep is also necessary for how we look. Just imagine preparing for an important meeting and looking in the mirror and seeing dark circles under bloodshot eyes - how confident will you feel? Therefore, exercising will improve sleep. One word of warning - just don't exercise too near bedtime.

7. Improves productivity. One of the best ways to clear the mind is to exercise regularly. Exercise gives you a chance to wipe the slate clean and start from new. In addition, if you push yourself exercising you can realize new potentials and this in turn boosts self-confidence. Very often, what you thought was a major problem before exercising disappears after.

8. Give you something to look forward to. Once you have a reasonable schedule for exercising, you will start to look forward to it. This in itself is a confidence booster. Once you start seeing the benefits of exercising, you will have the desire to continue and in the end, you feel better and look better.

9. Improves concentration. In general exercising helps us to develop the necessary skills to concentrate on the task in hand. This then trains us better when we have tasks or responsibilities to concentrate better, resulting in more praise and benefits.

10. Feelings of control and achievement. In general, exercising has so many benefits to health and mind that we can't help having a feeling of control and achievement. Working out takes work, dedication, commitment, and care for oneself, and all this facilitates enormous feelings of confidence.

Don't Wait! Get Started Today!

Incorporate regular exercising into your routine and you'll experience the many benefits to your self-confidence that regular exercising gives.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9662793