I could go on for hours with hundreds of reasons why relationships fail regardless of their length and status but I believe there are some critical ones that are directly or indirectly responsible for the failure of relationship.
The following are in no special order and there are always degrees relative to these issues. It's never an - all or nothing - when it comes to traits, attitudes, behaviors or mindsets.
Keep in mind that many of these issues happen because people lack the maturity, patience, compassion or the skills or courage to be willing to grow together, learn together or just let go of their prejudices or clean out their emotional filters that are always filled with a variety of old baggage issues and emotional wounds.
Keep in mind that all relationships are either getting better or worse, they are dynamic and ever changing. Nothing ever stays the same as each person grows independently of their partner and the relationship in general undergoes a variety of changes due to many factors. So here are the fifteen.
One - They lose the romance and intimacy. Romance and continued intimacy is not about the quality or frequency of sex. It is purely keeping the mystery, fun, closeness and emotional connection. When the romance fades so does the closeness, laughter and togetherness. When I refer to romance I am speaking only about the creative ways each of you bring excitement, surprise, uniqueness and adventure and yes - love into the relationship.
Two - There is no effective conflict resolution process. Disagreement and conflict are a normal part of every relationship no matter how close, strong or long lasting. Conflict when not dealt with in a respectful and understanding way will lead to withdrawal, editing of communication and generally failing to maintain openness and a safe emotional environment.
Three - There is a lack of acceptance for their partner. From the human perspective no one is perfect. We all have flaws, opinions, prejudices, beliefs and values that are unique. When two people come together in a relationship it is normal that from time to time your partner will do or say things that drive you nuts. The inability to unconditionally accept your partner for who they are will eventually lead to increased conflict and emotional distance.
Four - One or both people let their ego get in the way. The ego needs to be right or better than others. When both people allow their ego to get out of control in a relationship it will then be filled with stress, disagreement, conflict, frustration and anxiety. Not good emotions to harbor if you want a loving and nurturing relationship.
Five - One or both partners are stuck and are unwilling to compromise. No one way is always better or right. No one is always right. There is no right or wrong just different ways of seeing things. When one person gets stuck in their perceived way of believing, talking, feeling or acting and fails to accept that their can be another or even better way - it's inevitable that this mindset will lead to increased tension, stress and conflict.
Six - There are hidden or personal agendas that sabotage the relationship. A personal agenda is nothing more than a goal or need. When these are not in the open or are in conflict with your partner's goals or needs you can count on increased conflict, arguments, assumptions or misunderstanding.
Seven - There is a lack of trust. When mutual trust leaves the relationship every other aspect of the relationship will suffer. All relationships to be successful and enduring must be grounded in mutual trust. Trust is nothing more than knowing that your partner will always be honest no matter what.
Eight - There is a lack of respect. Respect is a cousin of trust. Respect honor's your partner's goals, desires, dreams, plans or activities. You don't have to like them or agree with them but you must honor them. To honor them means that you don't try and change them, criticize them or belittle them for any reason.
Nine - There is emotional manipulation. Emotional manipulation is simply using guilt, blame, anger, withdrawal, jealousy or some other emotional game playing to get what you want, to punish your partner for some reason or to control them in some way.
Ten - There is a lack of loyalty by one or both people. Loyalty is directly connected to the trust issue, but it is in the end a behavior that in some way says - I need something or someone else to give me what you can't or won't. When loyalty leaves your partner may leave next. I'm not just referring here to having affairs but also when your job, interest, hobby, personal agenda, career or business always seem to be more important than your partner or their fears, needs, desires or plans.
Eleven - There is insufficient appreciation or recognition. The single thing that people crave is appreciation and recognition for their effort, creativity, surprises, extra work etc. When this appreciation or recognition is lacking sooner or later these acts will become less and less and soon end altogether.
Twelve - Communication lacks integrity, responsiveness or is dysfunctional. Communication is a complicated issue when it comes to human behavior and its assumptions, misunderstanding, confusion and even misleading messages. If you both can't be open and honest and feel the need to hide feelings, thoughts, actions - whatever - or you need to constantly edit your messages for fear of punishment, retribution or criticism - this is sure sign that things are coming to an end.
Thirteen - There is a great deal of invalidation. Invalidation is basically when you do or say anything that makes another person feel unimportant, not valued, insecure, disrespected or worthwhile. It could be things as simple as - always being late, interrupting them, not listening to them or criticizing them in front of others.
Fourteen - There is a get or take rather than give mindset by one or both people. Giving rather than getting will always make a person happier and better about themselves. There are two types of people in the world when it comes to this issue - givers and takers. Takers need people to give to them and givers need to give to others. Givers rather than takers are always happier and more content in life. The problem is that most relationships are made up of - one giver and one taker. Both tend to get what they need when it comes to giving and taking but in the end both will soon tire of their partner's behavior.
Fifteen - Expectations are unmanaged or not communicated with integrity. We all have expectations of others. Some are immature or dysfunctional while others are grounded in reality and even respect. But in the end if your expectations are not communicated you will begin to feel more and more disappointment with your partner's lack of honoring your expectations. They can't honor them or even consider accommodating them if they are not expressed.
That's it folks. Got any of these issues or challenges in your relationship that are not being dealt with, overcome, addressed or managed in a positive way? If not you better get started before it's too late.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tim_Connor/43189
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