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Improve your Nutrition

by Heather Finlay

As part of a healthy diet we are constantly being informed of how many portions of fruit and vegetables we should eat every day, how much alcohol we should consume and that we should increase our intake of fibre.  We also need to have a balanced diet – as well as fruit and veg, we need protein, fats and carbohydrates.

However, it is not always easy to understand or follow the guidelines.  Below are some ideas to help you improve your diet without increasing your weekly spending and perhaps without your family even noticing!

Fruit and Vegetables – our 5 a day

We are advised to eat at least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day; in fact, some studies say it should be as much as 8.  So if you don’t regularly eat many portions of these, how can you increase your intake without completely changing your diet?

(A portion is around 80g or a handful of fruit or vegetables; potatoes don’t count as they are starchy foods usually used in place of bread, rice or pasta)

• Add a portion of fruit to your breakfast – add blueberries to your porridge or chop a banana onto your cereal, or eat a bowl of prunes 
• A glass (150ml) of fruit or vegetable juice counts towards your total (only 1 per day); use unsweetened
• Make a smoothie with your favourite fruit, using unsweetened fruit juice as a base.  Don’t break the fruit down too much so that fibre is retained
• Add in a handful of fresh spinach leaves to your smoothie; you will barely taste it
• Add extra vegetables into pasta dishes eg courgettes and aubergines into lasagne
• When making shepherds or fish pie, throw in some sweetcorn or peas
• Buy whole fruits such as pineapples or mangoes, peel, chop up, put into plastic storage containers in the fridge and take a portion to work to eat
• Buy fruits such as cherries, blueberries, raspberries and grapes that you can pick at at work
• If you have a sweet tooth, grate a square of dark chocolate over a bowl of fruit; it may not seem like much but actually goes a long way and is better than adding sugar, cream or ice cream
• Heap salad leaves and tomatoes into your sandwiches
• Start having a small side bowl of salad with your main meal.  Adds to your total portions and has fewer calories than a slice of bread or extra potatoes
• Add some chopped peppers, onions or mushrooms to shop-bought pizza before cooking
• Cook and then blend vegetables about to go past their best into soup.  Boil enough water to cover the vegetables (not too much water), cook the veg, take from the heat and add vegetable stock and herbs, blend.  Done.  Perhaps potato and leak, carrot and orange, mushroom or parsnip.  They can also be frozen
• Make a fruit crumble or pie; if making a pie, just use the pastry for a lid, rather than to completely encase the fruit.  Not only is this healthier but it also allows you to make a bigger pie!  Why not use fallen apples and blackberries from the roadside?
• Cut up peppers, cucumber, celery and carrots and dip in hummus or a tomato salsa for a snack or starter
• Eat small handfuls of currants and raisins as snacks, but only small amounts as the concentrated fruits are high in sugar
• Add tomato puree into pasta dishes and onto pizzas – it is a concentrated form of tomatoes, rich in lycopene which is good for your skin in protection against sunburn
• Make stews and casseroles with a small amount of meat or chicken (if not vegetarian) and add lots of vegetables to pad out the dish and reduce the cost per portion.  Use turnips and swedes, carrots, small whole onions and tinned tomatoes.  Additional portions can be frozen
• Make vegetable-based dishes such as mushroom risotto and stuffed peppers
• Frozen and canned fruit and vegetables all count towards your total; beware of fruit canned in syrup as this is full of sugar
• Beans, including baked, kidney, haricot and cannellini all count as one portion (3 heaped tablespoons, one portion per day) so have beans on toast or add butter beans to a stew
• If indulging in a cooked breakfast, add in some mushrooms, tomatoes and baked beans
• Enjoy a starter of grilled asparagus or melon – simple and always popular
• Make pancakes for a weekend breakfast – make the pancakes and leave in a low oven to keep warm.  Use the pan on a low heat to warm through some fresh fruit (any fruit - pears, cherries, apples) with a tablespoon of maple syrup; spoon over the pancakes
• Add some grapes or celery to your plate of cheese and biscuits
• When creating a salad, add in some fruit such as mango, pineapple, raspberries.  Go easy on the dressing
• Stuff apples with currants and top with some brown sugar; bake in the oven

 Try to use fruit and veg that are local and in season as they will be cheaper and are better for the environment

Increase your fibre intake

In the starchy food group (potatoes, pasta, rice, bread) you should try to look for products that have more fibre.  There are two types of fibre - soluble and insoluble:

Soluble fibre can be digested and may help to reduce cholesterol.  It can be found in oats and barley, fruit and root vegetables

Insoluble fibre helps digestion - it cannot be digested and helps other foods to be moved through the intestines, thereby keeping bowels healthy.  It can be found in wholemeal bread, bran, cereals, nuts and seeds

As well as helping with digestion, fibre makes you feel fuller, thus reducing food cravings and helping with weight loss.  Adults should aim for 18g of fibre a day.  If you feel you are often bloated and your digestion is sluggish, try to eat more fibre.  Opportunities for this are:

• Eat more fruit and vegetables
• If making fruit and vegetable smoothies, try not to blend completely smooth so that not all of the fibre is broken down
• Swap white or low-fibre bread for wholemeal or one that states it has added fibre
• Look at your breakfast cereal – see if you can move to one with more fibre
• Cook oats with milk to make your own porridge - warm the milk gently in a pan – don’t boil, add oats and stir.  Make sure there is enough milk so that it is still fluid.  Top with fresh fruit such as blueberries.  Bags of oats are also very inexpensive 
• Eat the skin on potatoes (1) – this could be jacket potatoes as they come, or scoop the potato out of the jacket (to use as mash), cut the skins into wedges, add some cheese and grill.  You could also add some roasted vegetables before adding the cheese.
• Eat the skin on potatoes (2) - if making potato salad, chop jersey or salad potatoes in half (leaving the skin on), boil the potatoes until just soft (not mushy), drain, leave to cool and then add low-fat mayonnaise.  You can add other ingredients such as chives or mustard to taste or follow a recipe
• Eat brown rice and whole-wheat pasta, rather than white, as they have more fibre.  Also, have tomato-based sauces rather than creamy ones
• Add some oats to your crumble topping
• Eat uncooked whole fruit (ie not blended) to retain the fibre
• Dried fruits such as apricots, currants, prunes and dates contain good amounts of fibre; but be aware that they are also high in sugar
• Don’t overcook vegetables so that they retain their fibre structure
• Eat small amounts of nuts which are a good source of fibre but can be high in fat

Protein – alternatives to red meat?

We all need protein, and the main source that often comes to mind is red meat.  Whilst it is a good source of protein, iron and vitamin B12, it can also be expensive and has been linked to greater risks of cardiovascular disease and diabetes.  However, we need to remember that there are differences between unprocessed and processed red meat, and there are also many foods that can act as our source of protein

• If eating red meat, reduce your intake of processed meats such as bacon and sausages, salami and pate; they can be high in saturated fat
• When buying unprocessed meat, look for labels indicating a high level of welfare for the animals – better for you and them
• Use lean cuts of meat / lean mince and cut of the excess fat
• Eat more ‘white’ meat such as chicken and turkey
• Try to eat 2 portions of fish each week, with 1 of these being an oily fish such as salmon, trout, sardines and mackerel
• Eggs are a good source of protein; the white is fat free so try making an egg-white omelette.  When cooking eggs, think about boiling, scrambling or poaching rather than frying.  For a treat, have scrambled eggs with a small amount of smoked salmon on wholemeal toast
• Pulses are high in protein and include beans, lentils, nuts and seeds
• Add beans and lentils to soups and casseroles – they are cheap and reduce the cost per portion
• Sprinkle chopped nuts and seeds to salads to add crunch
• Put some seeds into your smoothies – eg pumpkin, linseed, sesame or sunflower seeds
• As with nuts, eat small handfuls of seeds as a snack

Dairy products

These include milk, cream, butter, cheese and yoghurt and they are high in calcium which is important to maintain strong bones.  However, they are also high in fat so adults should try to eat lower fat versions such as skimmed milk, cottage cheese and lower fat yoghurts.  Unfortunately in lower fat versions the fat is sometimes replaced by sugar, so be careful.  Sometimes you just can’t win….

Reduce your fat and sugar

Both fat and sugar have their place in our diet, but unfortunately they are high in calories so should be consumed in moderation.  In addition, fat can be split into saturated and unsaturated fat; the former is worse for us and increases cholesterol, which in turn increases our risk of heart disease (see Health page).

Much of our saturated fat intake is in processed foods – cakes and biscuits, junk food, processed meats such as sausages and pate, as well as naturally occurring in cheese and butter.  We should reduce our intake of these types of foods.  However, unsaturated fats are beneficial and help to lower cholesterol.  Unsaturated fats can be found in nuts, avocados, oily fish, and olive and vegetable oils and should be part of our daily diet

Our diets now also consist of too much sugar.  There are different types of sugars - fruits and vegetables contain naturally-occurring sugar (fructose), as do dairy products (lactose); the sugar we use for baking is sucrose (a combination of fructose and glucose).   The body is able to process small amounts of fructose and lactose, so can manage the quantities from our healthy fruit and vegetable diets.  However, we can overload our body by eating sugary foods which the liver is unable to process, and being high in calories, this additional sugar can cause us to become overweight.

Sugary foods include cakes and pastries, fizzy drinks, ice cream, biscuits and ready-made meals and sauces.  In order to cut down on your sugar intake, think about the following:

• Swap fizzy drinks for water (still or carbonated).  If necessary, dilute fruit juice with carbonated water
• Look for alternatives to mid-afternoon sugary snacks like chocolate, cakes and biscuits, exchanging them for fruit (perhaps with a little grated chocolate), scones or malt loaf
• Reduce the sugar you take in tea and coffee until you can cut it out completely.  Also, look at your recipes and reduce the sugar content there as well
• Find alternatives to top your toast, such as a sliced banana or low-fat spread or cream cheese
• Check labels on processed foods for sugar content
• Buy tinned fruit in juice rather than syrup
• Eat breakfast cereals that do not have a sugar or honey coating, and do not add sugar yourself.  Instead, add fruit
• Look for alternatives to sugar such as Stevia, fruit juices, molasses and syrups such as maple, brown rice and barley malt

Look at your salt intake

Moderate salt intake is needed by the body; it helps the body to retain water, stimulates muscle contraction and is needed in the digestive process. 

The loss of too much salt from the body, creating sodium deficiency, can result in dehydration as the body is no longer able to retain sufficient water.  One cause of sodium deficiency is through sweating in high temperatures, so be careful when exercising.

Too much salt is also bad for you - it results in excessive water retention and can cause hypertension. 

All foods contain a low level of salt, however, 80% of our daily salt intake is through processed foods; the remainder is added during cooking and at the table.

In order to reduce your salt intake:

• Check labels on all processed foods, not just those that are obviously salty such as bacon, anchovies, crisps and salted nuts
• Be aware that some items used during cooking such as stock cubes and soy sauce are high in salt
• Where possible, switch to low salt options
• Taste your food – when cooking and at the table – before adding salt.  Consider using other flavourings such as herbs and spices instead

How to make healthy eating unbelievably easy | Luke Durward | TEDxYorkU

What Drives You? The Secrets To Motivating Yourself

By Petris Lapis

"Your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

Bianca rose to the sound of pigeons cooing and traffic grumbling on the street below. As she yawned and stretched, she thought about what was waiting for her that day.

She felt her motivation slowly drain away with each deadline and commitment that zipped through her thoughts. As Bianca began to wither and wilt internally, she remembered the motivation pills she had purchased last week from the Good Value Pharmacy.

There were yellow pills labeled 'Money', pink pills labeled 'Pride', green pills labeled 'Family', purple pills labeled 'Respect' and some ugly grey pills labeled 'Nagging Advice'. The chemist had told her as he dispensed the pills that some would work for her and some would not... he could never tell in advance which pills would work for which customers. With that advice in mind and a smile on her lips, Bianca reached for the one she knew would be just right for her...

One of the best things you can do for yourself on your journey of self discovery is to work out what drives you. The first step is to identify your values as they provide the fuel for your motivation and the drive behind everything you do in life. If you value something you will always find the motivation and energy to do it. If you don't value something, you will always struggle to find the motivation and energy to do it.

Values

Your values are what are important to you. They are the broad concepts that guide your decisions in life and form the basis of your character. Your values also determine how you spend your time. For example, if your most important value is health, you will spend your time quite differently from someone whose most important value is career or family.

Values also drive all your motivation. You won't pursue a course of action unless it relates to something you value at some level. Identifying your values allows you to kick-start your own motivation, set goals that are appropriate and spend time on things that are important to you.

How Your Values Are Formed

Your values come from a number of sources including your family, friends, religion, school, teachers, country and the media. They are also shaped at any time in your life by significant emotional events such as natural disasters, emotional abuse, global depression or war.

Your values change as you grow and evolve. When you change your values, you will also change some of your beliefs and the way you live life.

How To Identify Your Personal Values

Identifying your personal values helps you to:

• Understand why some issues are a problem for you;
• See why some things motivate you and others don't; and
• Identify and overcome problem areas of your life.

For example, assume you have weight issues. You determine your personal values and find that health and fitness doesn't even rate a mention within your values. You may have found the reason why you are having weight issues, i.e. health and fitness is not something you value. While this remains the case it will be very difficult for you to lose weight and gain a greater level of health and fitness in your life as you will not have any motivation to do so.

You can identify your values by asking yourself:

• What is important to me in relation to my life, career, relationships etc?
• What would cause me to leave my life, career, relationships, etc?

When you have an understanding of your values, it is useful to see how they affect your motivation.

Motivation

Your values drive your motivation. If you set goals that are aligned with your values, you will have the motivation to help you achieve them. If you set goals that are not in line with your values, it will be an uphill struggle to achieve them.

When you understand your values and their impact on how you are currently motivating yourself you will have a wonderful insight into why you achieve the results that you do in life. You will also know how to motivate yourself more effectively in the future.

Motivation comes either from within you (intrinsic motivation) or from an external source (extrinsic motivation).

Extrinsic motivationis provided by some factor external to you. It can take the form of inducements (rewards) or punishments. The rewards can be tangible or intangible (such as praise).

Intrinsic motivationis evident when you engage in an activity for its own sake without any external incentive. It appears from research done by Albert Bandura that if you have more self efficacy (belief in your own abilities to control your environment) you are more highly intrinsically motivated than other people.

As intrinsic motivation is the only one you can take with you and call upon at any time, it is the most important in terms of self motivation.

Intrinsic motivation can be broken down further into 'towards' motivation and 'away from' motivation. 'Towards' motivation is motivation towards something you want and 'away from' motivation is motivation away from something you don't want.

'Away From' Motivation

'Away from' motivation is driven by pain. Pain motivated performance is not pleasant, produces inconsistent results and disappears when the pain is no longer present.

'Away from motivation' does, however, give you a strong initial motivation to move away from the thing you don't want in your life. A problem with using this type of motivation is that you wait until things are bad before you take action to change them. Another problem is that you don't have a target or goal that you are aiming for (just something you are running from) so you don't tend to achieve results.

Sophia uses 'away from' motivation in relation to her weight. As a result she is the classic yo yo dieter. Her process goes like this. Sophia looks in the mirror and sees that she is overweight. She says to herself, 'I don't want to be fat anymore'. She then goes on a diet to ensure she is no longer fat. (She is moving away from being fat). At some point she looks in the mirror and sees that she looks fantastic and is no longer fat. As she is no longer fat, she has just lost the source of her motivation (to no longer be fat). As there is no longer any motivation, she no longer stays on the diet and discards her exercise regime. She will not be motivated to do whatever she needs to stay fit and healthy. At some point in the future she will look in the mirror and again form the judgment that she is fat and the process will start all over again.

When you are motivated away from something that you don't want in life, you tend to focus upon the very thing you don't want and that is what you attract into your life. As examples:

• If you constantly say to yourself, 'I don't want to be broke', your focus is upon being broke and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.
• If you constantly say to yourself, "I don't want to be single", your focus is upon being single and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.

Motivation away from what you don't want can motivate you, but it doesn't do so for long and you can't be sure what results you will achieve. It can give you a fantastic initial boost of energy, but you can never guarantee where you are going to end up as you don't have a firm direction in mind, just a place you want to get away from. If you use away from motivation in your life, you will tend to create a series of crises to keep yourself motivated.

'Towards' Motivation

If you use 'towards motivation' you will take action to move towards your goal and you will achieve them more often than not.

'Towards' motivation is the best way to motivate yourself. When you are motivated towards what you want, you tend to stay consistently motivated until you achieve your goal (provided you desire it enough).

When you are motivated towards what you want, you constantly set and achieve goals each time stretching yourself further. By using motivation towards what you want you give yourself a far greater chance of achieving what you want out of life.

How Do You Know If The Motivation You Use Is 'Towards' Or 'Away From' Motivation?

We now know that values drive your motivation and that motivation can be either towards what you want or away from what you don't want. Now it is time to review your values to discover whether the underlying motivation for each of your values is:

• towards what you want; or
• away from what you don't want.

To determine whether the underlying motivation for each value is 'towards' or 'away from' ask yourself, "Why is that value important to me?" then listen to your self-talk and note what you say to yourself. The clues to whether you are using towards or away from motivation for that value are:

You are probably using 'towards' motivation if you:

• talk about what you do want
• don't use comparisons in your explanation (better than, worse than, more than)

You are probably using 'away from' motivation if you:

• talk about what you don't want
• make comparisons in your explanation or use words such as 'better than', 'more than', 'less than', 'best' etc. (These show you are unhappy with where you currently are)
• use words such as 'must', 'need', 'have to', 'got to' etc

As an example, assume that 'money' was your highest value in relation to your career. You then ask yourself, "Why is the value 'compensation' important to me in relation to my career?"

If your answer is, "Because I want to make a lot of money and live in luxury", the response would indicate 'towards' motivation for this value.

If your answer is, "Because I don't want to be broke and I have to be able to pay my bills", the response would indicate 'away from' motivation for this value.

Your chances of achieving goals relating to 'money' are much greater if you are using towards motivation.

If you find that you have identified 'away from' motivation in relation to any of your values, you will find:

• This area of your life is one where you will experience the most difficulties;
• You will not be achieving the results in this area of your life that you might wish; and
• There are unresolved issues to be cleared away and healed in relation to this area of your life before you will experience the success you desire.

This is wonderful information to have as it identifies areas of your life for you to focus upon.

Problems With Motivation

We all experience problems with motivation at some point. Those times when you just can't seem to find the desire to do things you know you should. The problems can arise because:

• You are low on energy. There are some easy things I'm sure you do when you are feeling 'low' to get your energy back. Remember too that sometimes in life, you need and deserve a rest.
• The thing you are aiming towards is not something you value. (In this case, question whether you should be exerting your energy in that direction); or
• You have a problem with your motivation strategy (see below).

If it is your motivation strategy that is causing you challenges, identify which part of the strategy is causing the problem and then use one of the following techniques to assist you to change it. If you are not motivated because:

• You feel overwhelmed, break the goal down into smaller steps and do them one at a time.
• You are only using 'away from' motivation, identify where you are aiming and focus upon the positive outcomes of attaining it.
• You feel obliged to pursue the goal, either accept the goal is not for you and let it go or focus upon the positive outcomes you will get from achieving the goal.
• You are scared, identify what could go wrong and what you would do if it did.

In Summary

If you understand your values, you will understand what motivates you and why. If you discover whether you are using towards or away from motivation in different areas of your life, you will have answers for why some parts of your life are successful and others are not. If you use one of the above techniques to overcome common motivation problems... and you take action... you should be on your way to success!

Petris Lapis, Director of Petris Lapis Pty Ltd the unique approach to personal growth, easy unconscious change, opening your heart and unlocking your potential in every aspect of life. Visit now to find the next course running near you. http://www.PetrisLapis.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Petris_Lapis/1191603

After watching this, your brain will not be the same | Lara Boyd | TEDxV...

Excellent motivational speech!  A must see!

9 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

By Gerry Restrivera

Is your relationship going downhill? Maintaining a relationship is not easy and most couples encounter a few bumps along the road to a lasting relationship. If not recognized earlier, these bumps could push couples to take the relationship to the wrong direction leading to break-ups or divorce. It is important to recognize these relationship killers ahead of time to avoid further damage. There are reasons why relationships fail and once these reasons are recognized ahead of time, you'll have a better chance of saving your troubled relationship. Although no one can enumerate all the reasons why relationships fail, we have listed here the top reasons. So what are these relationship killers?

Poor or lack of communication. One way to connect with each other is for couples to have a strong and regular communication. Couples tend to drift apart due to poor or lack of communication. Many relation problems start with lack of communication. Assuming that you know what your partner or spouse is thinking is dangerous to your relationship. Misunderstandings and arguments are often the result of not communicating with your spouse or partner. If this is happening in your relationship then you should know that this is one of the reasons why relationships fail and you have to do something to improve the communication in your relationship.

Not supportive with each other's goals, ambitions and careers. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the issues with careers and ambitions between couples. When two people in a relationship have different goals and ambitions and cannot compromise or support each other, the relationship may suffer in the end. It is given that two people naturally have different ambitions and careers to pursue but in a relationship, it is best to support each other's interest or careers to avoid strain in the relationship. It is easier to make the relationship work with a partner or spouse who believes and supports their spouse's or partner's career. If 100% understanding, acceptance and support is not possible, at least a partner or spouse should be open to compromise and willing to find a work around to make both their careers and relationship work. Sacrifices and compromise is inevitable. Of course, both should know how to balance their careers with their love life. It is easier said than done but it is not impossible. There are couples who are both successful in their careers at the same time lead a happy and strong relationship.

Not getting along with your partner's friends and family. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the conflict with people closest to your spouse or partner. Let's face it, the world does not revolve around you and your partner alone. There are people around you like friends and families that both you and your partner cannot live without. Not getting along with people closest to your partner can put a strain in your relationship. A situation where you and your partner's mother or best friend can't see each other eye to eye or can't stay in the same room can be really stressful in the relationship. Holiday dinners and family gatherings can be difficult if you are not in good terms with your spouse's family and friends. If you want to create a long-lasting relationship with your partner, it is best to get along with people important to him or her.

Life's issues and baggage. There are life's baggage and issues when brought to a relationship can cause damage. A lingering ex can ignite jealousy, suspicion and distrust that can put a strain in your current relationship, so it is best to be clear with your ex that everything is already in the past and that you are serious with your current relationship. Comparing your current relationship with your previous relationships is also dangerous and damaging to your relationship. Children and issues from previous marriage can be challenging and can also affect your relationship so it important to know how to handle these things and make your current relationship work. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the failure to deal with your life's issues and baggage.

Money issues. Financial issues is one of the reasons why relationships fail. If not addressed properly, money issues can kill your relationship. The stress brought by financial woes and struggles can eventually ruin a relationship. People or couples stressed with financial issues can become irritable, irrational, hostile and cold with their spouse or partner and these behaviors can slowly kill a relationship. It is best to be honest from the start about your financial status, be open to discuss each other's spending habits, money sharing and expenses. With effective and open-minded communication, strategies and compromise about money, a financially challenged couple can work things out and can save their marriage.

Infidelity. Keeping a relationship between two people is hard enough but involving a third party or cheating a partner is a bomb that can instantly kill a relationship. Infidelity is the ultimate relationship destroyer and some relationships won't be able to survive this. Betraying the trust of your partner is one of the top reasons why relationships fail. The feeling of being replaced or being betrayed is not easy to cope with and so the betrayed spouse or partner often walk out of the relationship. Although there are couples who were able to survive cheating and make the relationship work again, it is best to not to commit infidelity in the first place if you want a long-lasting relationship.

Disgusting behaviors and habits. Although it is true that loving someone includes accepting all his or her flaws, in reality there are habits that can become annoying over time and can push your partner to wake up one day and realize he or she wants to get out of the relationship. Even simple things like not putting back the toothpaste cap, not making the bed, not putting the soiled laundry in the laundry bin or leaving dirty shoes and socks around the house can be magnified if things are not going well in your relationship and these can trigger your partner to finally end the relationship. Nagging, being a war freak, fighting in public, humiliating your spouse or partner, name calling or cursing when arguing, holding on grudges, hitting your spouse or partner when you are angry, throwing things when arguing, too much or unreasonable jealousy, avoiding discussions about the issues in your relationship, lying or being dishonest with your spouse or partner are some of the bad behaviors that can damage a relationship and could lead to break-ups or divorce. Being in a relationship should teach couples to be better people and not become worse so it is better to change for the better to create a strong relationship than acquire unfavorable habits or behaviors that can eventually damage your relationship.

Things in your relationship becomes a routine. The fire and excitement in the relationship could die because you became too comfortable or complacent with each other that things become more of a routine than an act of love. You become more like siblings or friends than lovers. Being too comfortable with each other takes away the excitement and the romance in the relationship and it makes the relationship boring and a routine. When couples do the same things together over and over again, they stopped growing as an individual and as a partner. Break the routine and spice up your relationship. There are things and interests that you can do separately to grow as a person and there are things that you can do together to bond with each other. It is important to allow your spouse or partner to have his or her own space to do his or her own thing or enjoy the company of his or her friends but it is also important to have time alone with each other through regular dates or vacations to bond with each other and create new and exciting memories.

Lack of intimacy and sex. Life can become too busy and complicated that couples may end up too busy or stressed for intimacy or sex which is not a good thing in a relationship. Couples need to connect intimately emotionally and physically and the best thing to do it is through sex. Sex could dry up in a long-term relationship and couples tend to have less sex through the years. Couples should prevent this from happening. Lack of intimacy or sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why relationships fail. When couples stop having sex, they tend to get disconnected and detached from each other and they become susceptible to infidelity. It is best for couples to maintain an active sex life to keep the connection and make the relationship more alive and exciting. Although it is important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner through regular sex, couples should know that it is not good to put pressure on your spouse or partner to engage in frequent sex. You don't have to have sex everyday but there are studies saying that having regular sex once a week is ideal and enough to maintain that intimate connection between couples. There are many hindrances to accomplish this like stress at work, stress in everyday life, taking care of the children and the state where you are not in the mood for sex but like any other issue in your relationship, the frequency and timing of having sex should be discussed and planned. Intimate connection through sex is vital in every romantic relationship and when couples are not having enough connection through sex, they have to do something to fix this problem to save the relationship.

Are you having trouble dealing with a difficult or troubled marriage? Visit Saving a Troubled Relationship

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including 9 Reasons Why Relationships Fail. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Gerry_Restrivera/70435

Anthony Robbins: The Key to Outstanding Relationships

Worth taking a look even if your relationship is already great!  Enjoy 😂

How to make work-life balance work | Nigel Marsh

Did you find any tips that might be useful to you?  Let me know!

Work? Life? Balance? How To Create Ideal Work/Life Balance in a 24/7 World

by Dr. Nicola D Bunting

What are your thoughts about Yahoo recently withdrawing the treasured right to work at home?

The viability of work-life balance is a hotly-debated, contentious topic. I've read recent articles suggesting that it's good to merge your working and personal life and that its positive that some companies make it easy to work all day and often at night by providing dry-cleaning services and free food and drink (I strongly disagree by the way)! Or another article complaining that working mothers are unfair on their single colleagues because they leave early and expect them to do an unfair share of work.

When you work at home, where (and when) do you draw the lines between work and home? And how do you do that? If you work in an office, what time do you leave, and do you then continue working later at home?

Where work begins and ends has never been more important to resolve

Do you find yourself spending Sunday evening checking your work emails and getting ready for Monday morning?

On Thursday at 8 pm do you find yourself desperately trying to finish an urgent report instead of having dinner with your partner or going to the gym? When you're on the school run, are you multitasking with your mobile? Heaven forbid, are you taking work calls by the pool during your summer holiday?

Uh oh! What about your work life balance?

With boundaries between your work and your life so blurred at the moment, work time encroaching on you time like a hungry amoeba, work-life balance may seem like a quaint, outdated concept. Is it realistic or even possible? If so what does it mean and how do you get it?!

Here are 10 tips to help you achieve the nirvana-like state of mutually inspiring work life balance. And yes it IS possible, as I know from 12 plus years coaching high-performers to achieve more while having & enjoying a life!

1) You need to love your work (or be able to adjust it or your approach to it so that you DO love it). Or change jobs or even career if not. Fundamentally, for work life balance to be possible, your work needs to reflect your values and strengths, to be harmonious with your vision and purpose. If your work works with your values, there can be a connected flow between your work and your life with mutually energising momentum. But if you don't love your work now, it's impossible to create great work/life balance as your work and life are intrinsically incompatible and opposed: it is literally your work or your life. You're checking yourself out when you check yourself in.

2) Get clear on what your values, strengths, passions are, so that you can make sure your work aligns with them. Change your job, your career, or start your own business if it doesn't. Creating a clear, inspiring personal vision and purpose is powerful, not just effective, but even transformative.

3) Take time for your life... Assuming you do fundamentally love your career and your job (you may love one but not the other of course), you still need to take time for your life in order to feel balanced and happy. All too often people make the mistake of trying to fit their personal life around what is left of their time and energy after they finish work. Guess what? They are then exhausted and out of time and their personal life gets put on hold. Which isn't sustainable-you will get squeezed out and ultimately burnt out. Your relationships will get impoverished, your health will suffer, you will be miserable... So make crucial appointments with yourself or they won't happen - i.e. I know a news anchor who works out 4-5 days a week at 5.30 am. As challenging as it is to get out of bed so early, especially in winter, she finds that her new energy reserves make every other challenge seem like a positive opportunity she can sail through successfully. Scheduling regular date nights, gym times, meditation times, spa appointments etc is absolutely key. Equally, set boundaries for your work, around travel, not working evenings or weekends etc. The resulting balance will actually make you more successful as well as happier.

4) Accept sometimes balance will tilt one way or another because of unusual circumstances, but have that be an exception for a predetermined short period of time. You might decide to take an extended holiday for a month. Fab! You might have an urgent project that will have you working all hours for 2 weeks. OK! But don't say, for example, that you will knock yourself out for a year at work in order to achieve something. You won't get that year of your life back, and you're setting dangerous precedents and habits that will compromise your quality of life.

5) Practice exceptional self-care. Because you're worth it and it will allow you to feel your best and deliver! That means physical self-care-eating lots of fruit and vegetables, not just sandwiches, drinking lots of water and not so much coffee, and getting brilliantly physically fit by creating the discipline to exercise regularly. And don't forget care of the soul too, just as important, whatever that means to you.

6) Be mindful. Be present. Don't multi-task. Being present rather than distracted makes you centred and grounded and also creates an impression of gravitas and presence. Multitasking with young children is particularly dangerous. A client told me recently that her young daughter threw something heavy at her in sheer rage when she was distracted from their play date by a business call.

7) Achieve more success through balance... Far from compromising your work effectiveness, individuals who protect their energy by looking after themselves and maintaining strong boundaries, are able to demonstrate more creativity, big-picture thinking, better empathy and communication skills, all qualities that are essential for long-term success. With my own executive coaching clients, I consistently see evidence that better work-life balance correlates with professional achievement and promotion - without exception, in fact.

8) Happiness..If you have better work-life balance, you are likelier to enjoy a more rewarding, inspiring, and restorative personal life, be happier, and have higher self-esteem. If you look after yourself, you give yourself the message that you matter and are worth taking care of.

9) Resilience... Poor work-life balance will lead to getting stressed out, exhausted, depleted, and ultimately burnt out. It's not sustainable. It's therefore in companies' interests too to make sure that their driven high-achievers aren't overdoing it.

10) Career leverage... Balance allows big-picture clarity about your career vision, the space and mental energy to nurture your professional networks, keep your head above water, understand the bigger trends in your industry, connect with head-hunters, get invited to speak and raise your profile, be front of mind for exciting new job opportunities. Whereas being exhausted by over-working and under-living just gets you stuck and keeps you stuck.

Let me reassure you that your fulfilling work can inspire (and be a part of) your happy personal life, and your happy life can inspire your successful work. I have many former and current coaching clients who have created exactly this kind of mutually reinforcing energising balance. So what's the secret?

As the poet E.E. Cummings says, "There's a hell of a good universe out there, let's go!".

One of my favourite quotes about the beauty of balance is from poet W.B. Yeats - Among School Children:

Labour is blossoming or dancing where

The body is not bruised to pleasure soul.

Nor beauty born out of its own despair,

Nor blear-eyed wisdom out of midnight oil.

O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,

Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?

O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,

How can we know the dancer from the dance?

To dance, you need balance!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr._Nicola_D_Bunting/167572

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Change Your Mindset! Strategies for Developing a Growth Mindset

By Monica Morall

Coaching Mini-Lesson: Change Your Mindset!

How do you view obstacles that come your way? Are they mountains that are seemingly insurmountable? Or are they mole hills that simply need to be navigated? In Carol Dweck's book Mindset, she identifies two types of mindsets that people possess: fixed and growth. The fixed mindset says things are just the way they are and you have no power to change them. A growth mindset says this is the way things are right now and you have the power to change them.

When you have a fixed mindset, you are more likely to give up in the face of adversity. A fixed mindset says no amount of effort will make a difference. You ask yourself all of the negative "what if" questions: What if I fail? What if I'm not good enough? What if I look stupid? A fixed mindset will stop you in your tracks before you even get started.

On the other hand, a growth mindset sees adversity as a challenge. It answers the "what if" questions: I might fail the first time, but I'm going to keep trying until I get it right. I may not be good at this YET, but I'm going to keep working on it. Who cares what others think? What matters is how God sees me and how I see myself. A growth mindset will propel you forward, even when you are faced with an obstacle. A growth mindset says hard work and perseverance will make all the difference in the world.

Chances are, you have a fixed or growth mindset in different areas of your life. For example, you may have a fixed mindset when it comes to relationships: Most marriages are doomed to fail, why should mine be any different, but a growth mindset when it comes to work: I haven't mastered the excel program yet, but I'll nail it before the next expense report is due. Fortunately, you can change your mindset with a little self evaluation and hard work.

Homework:

1. Identify your mindset. If you're not sure, take the quiz at http://www.mindsetonline.com. If you are more inclined to a fixed mindset, try the following exercises:

2. Journal about something that you are good at that you used to struggle with. Write the steps that you took to improve. How long did the process take? What did you learn from the process?

3. Experiment with the power of yet. Think of something that you are not very good at, but want to improve upon. Try putting the word yet on the end of fixed mindset statements: I don't know how to do that, yet; I haven't lost those last 10 pounds, yet; I haven't found the right man, yet; I can't buy the house I want, yet. Articulate the fact that you are a work in progress, put your plan into action, and employ some of the strategies and lessons learned from previous successes in order to reach your goal!

The good news is that mindset is a choice. Once you learn to recognize when you are limiting your progress with a fixed mindset, you can start responding to life's challenges in a new way. By embracing a growth mindset, you will open yourself up to opportunities that can lead you to master and maximize your life!

For more information, please visit us at http://www.masterclasscoachingenterprises.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Monica_Morall/1513020

BREAK THE BAD HABITS - Motivational Video 2017

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Mindset And Depression

By Annette Tonkin

Mindset and depression are closely linked by the ability of the mindset you have to expand or contract your life.

The view you have of yourself has an overwhelming influence on the way you live your life and this is often a difficult concept to grasp when you are depressed. Simply acknowledging this concept and doing something about it are worlds apart.

Thought patterns can affect the way we feel each day and to control this, there is a need to question where negative thoughts come from. Questions to answer can include:

"I constantly limit myself. Where did I learn these beliefs?"
"When did I take on this type of thinking pattern?"
"At what time in my life did I begin the downhill slide I'm on now?"
"I don't like the person I've become. When did this happen?"
"How did I get to the place I am in now?"

UNDERSTANDING MINDSET

Research completed by Dr. Carol S. Dweck on the types of mindset is be illuminating. Our state of mind and behaviour is greatly influenced by our thoughts even though we know that our thoughts are not who we are as individuals. Our behaviour is such that it corroborates the negative thoughts that we have. Depression is a state of mind and it is not who we are as a person. What I mean by this is: we are not a 'depressed person', we are in a 'state of depression'. Changing depressive thoughts patterns that have been developing, often over many years, to overcome depression takes commitment and determination.

Carol S. Dweck in her book "Mindset", established that there are two types of Mindset and she calls them "Growth" and "Fixed'.

FIXED MINDSET

"Fixed Mindset" is the belief that your qualities at birth are carved in stone. That the intelligence you have now and your moral character is what you will have for the rest of your life. Learning and growing are not part of the 'fixed mindset' way of thinking.

Many of us are trained in a fixed mindset early on in life, often unwittingly by those who care the most about us. Care givers and educators that we come across in our school years may believe that the IQ and EQ we have initially in school are fixed and as such treat us as though we have no capacity to improve.

In our early school years we don't like to be seen as stupid or unintelligent so we instinctively act to look smart. The outcome of this is that we fail to learn to take risks for fear of being 'exposed' as not being very smart. The enjoyment of learning and investigating new things are lost through fear of failing.

The behaviour of 'proving ourselves' repeats itself throughout our lives whether it be in relationships, our careers or leaning institutions as we feel we are being continually judged.

This type of repetitive behaviour is potentially devastating to our development.

GROWTH MINDSET

"Growth Mindset" in contrast, is based on the belief that your basic qualities are just the starting point for development. You have the ability to learn, grow and cultivate whatever initial gifts, skills, interests or disposition you have been given. If you have a 'growth mindset' you have the opinion that each one of us has the opportunity to change and grow through practice and the implementation of developmental exercises. Your potential at any given time or in any circumstance is unknown.

Now the uncertainty of any given situation is part of the process of growing. In children and adults with a 'growth mindset' a love of learning can be created at any stage in their development. No longer does an individual feel the need to 'prove' them self as they believe that they are always on a learning curve and that any setback is just part of that learning process.

MINDSET AND DEPRESSION

As I mentioned at the start, the type of mindset we have can influence whether we are prone to depression or not and one of the tools at our disposal is that of changing our mindset.

In different areas of our lives, out mindset may vary. Unfortunately, if you are struggling to overcome depression, it is likely that the "Fixed Mindset" is pervasive throughout most of your thinking and therefore, actions.

Over the next few articles I will write more on Mindset, how it is developed and suggestions on how to change from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset as part of dealing with your depression.

If you are interested in mindset and it's affect on our moods, particularly depression, then consider reading my book "A Self-Help Guide To Managing Depression"

Annette Tonkin
B.Ap.Sc.Physio., Grad.Dip.Ad.Manip.Ther., Grad. Cert.NLP

Adversity Consultant, Physiotherapist and Author
http://www.depressiontreatments.net

"You have to do it yourself, and you can't do it alone." Martin Rutte

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Annette_Tonkin/1351530

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7088851